Closing Down - Update: Not so fast, my friend...

About a month ago, as a knee-jerk response to a new social networking policy from Wake County Schools, I posted this:
"For the three or four of you who have followed this, I haven't posted in a while anyway, but this blog will be going away because of the dangers inherent in the new wcpss policy about social networking. I will be taking this down in a few days, and so I say...adios."

Turns out, maybe I was being a bit impulsive (and perhaps chickenshit?). The policy was geared toward teachers "friending" students and the parents of WCPSS students, and thus creating an inappropriate relationship with them outside of the school on a private forum like facebook. As it happens, this blog is not only public, but completely unaffiliated with my other career as a teacher, and there is no way to create one of those relationships even if I wanted to (and I don't...my wife is the single greatest human being alive, so why would I?).

So, in short, this oft-updated blog (j/k) will continue as it has, and maybe even get a few more posts, because from everyone I've spoken to I'm legally allowed to have a blog that I don't access or update from work. Carry on....

Is there something wrong with me?

So, I have a colleague who also teaches Creative Writing, and he told me of a very interesting questions one of his students asked him the other day. The kid, according to him, seems like a very passive, mild, sweet student, but she writes really dark, violent fiction.

My kind of girl, y'know?

And yet, she says people are telling her she belongs in a mental hospital because there's something wrong with her to come up with this stuff. Some of the ones telling her this are related to her.


Seriously.


Now, I haven't read any of her work, but my friend has read mine and says the kid's work is no darker, just a little more gore in some places. So who the fuck is telling this kid something's wrong with her?

Does that mean there's something wrong with me? I've got four very different stories out there, and each of them has something dark in it. Does that mean I'm crazy too? (Okay, ignore that one, I am)

Look, I'm all for a sense of propriety here. There are some truly sick people out there, and I condemn them for their acts. But that's just it...they are ACTS. Hell, Eminem says some pretty offensive shit in his music, but until he actually BECOMES a rapist in a Jason mask, I'm not going to sit here and tell you he's certifiable. And I damn sure wouldn't if I was RELATED to him. (He might come after me, if nothing else).

But hey, I'm very biased, so let's hear it from you guys. Are the "violent crime" writers among us truly sick in the head, or do some folks just need to remove the holier-than-thou stick before they sit down next time?

Here it comes, here it comes...

Your 19th nervous breakdown? No. But we're in the middle of exams here, which means the new school year is only a week away.

And with it, a fresh batch of sinners for the P...er, I mean a new group of students in my creative writing class, and therefore a good group with which to start my new "come one, come all, and offer criticism to the young and enthusiastic writers who want to learn" initiative here at the Pen-ferno.

So be patient, my friends, as there will soon be some new writers you can push to be the best they can be.

And here they come...

Yep, the kids are back in school.

H'ray.

Honestly, I love the second day of classes (today) so much more than the first. The first is when we have all the admin crap we have to get straight, and it leaves very little time some days to teach an actual lesson (which they need so they get it in mind from day one that they are going to have to work...y'know, kinda like the real world we're preparing them for...)

So I'm actually really excited today. But yesterday was rough. I have to agree with the kids on this one: Summer ain't long enough some years.

So this question is for those of you who have kids, or are kids. What, if anything, does the start of the school year mean in your household? More time to write? Less time? No change whatsoever?

It's been a while, since I could....

Hey gang. Been a week or so between posts. Sorry. I know your lives have been just as hectic as mine has, but I hope all is well. I'm stoked because two of my stories are now on the web, published in Pulp Pusher and The Flash Fiction Offensive, plus another coming soon in Spinetingler Magazine.

But this weekend is the big news. Memorial Day. Why is it big news? Because my wife and I get a break. A three-day weekend to catch up on grading, writing, and sleep.

Not necessarily in that order.

So what about you? What plans do you have for observing and honoring those who have gone before?

And remember, flags at half mast on Monday! Have a great weekend!

Writing Teachers

Okay, so I've written about this once before, but I'll elaborate here.

Ever had a writing teacher who just turned you off to it completely? I did. Now I'll admit I had a part in the problem, but I had help too. What was my part? I quit. I let it get to me. Stupid and weak, I know. Would that I could take it back....

When I was in High School my senior year, I took a course I was really stoked about called "Writer's Studio". Figured I'd love it. I didn't, for a number of reasons, but the professor was one of them. My laziness another.

It seemed to me that the only people who had their writing praised were those who wrote slice-of-life, mainstream type stuff. I didn't write that because I was a metalhead outsider who didn't read it. I read Sci-fi and Horror, so that's what I wrote. You remember me, I was the kid with the long hair and ripped jeans buried in a Stephen King novel when I wasn't telling you to piss off.

So that's what I wrote. I wanted to be the next SK.


Don't we all.



My teacher told me it was crap. I don't mean she said it in a nicer way, I mean she said it was awful. All of it. And that I needed to focus on more realistic writing. I replied that I was trying to write stuff like Stephen King, and why was that a bad thing.

She said, "Well, when you have published as much as he has, call me. Otherwise I say that trash will never do."

Okay, that's not a direct quote, but it's damn close...especially the first part.

I was crushed. Seriously thought I'd never write a damn thing worth reading. Ever.

I wrote one thing from 1992 to 2003. That's freakin' 10 years I could have been working and improving, and I'll never get it back. Yeah, I quit. Know why?

Because I thought, having been effectively told so by a 'recognized authority', that nothing I ever wrote would rise above the level of the garbage in a land fill.

And you know what? The writing I did in that class was awful. All of it. The premise, the structure, it was lame. But you know what I've learned since I started going to school to be a teacher? We're supposed to TEACH. So what she could/should/here's-what-I-would've-done is freakin' TAUGHT me what was wrong and helped me improve.

I may never get anything but a few shorts published like the one coming out later this spring. But I know this much: Any of my students whose writing is absolutely terrible in their HIGH SCHOOL YEARS can count on me to be honest about what's wrong, show them how to identify it, and encourage them to keep at it and never give up. Oh, and I know that of any book I do get published, I'll have a free signed copy for the lady in question, if she has the guts to claim it in person.

So how about you, readers? Have anybody you're saving a *special* copy of your first published work for, or that you already gave away if you are a published author?

My Medias wouldn't go In Res today....

Okay, so today I'm trying to help some of my Creative Fiction I students, many of whom are freshmen and just getting used to this 'we have to do work now?' thing called High School. Not many of them understand why they should be starting their stories with action and conflict instead of backstory. It was, unfortunately, quite useless to name from the ba-zillion novels that do it correctly, because not enough of my kids have read a great deal of fiction (popular or classic) yet. So I went with movies. No big deal, right? Gotta take them where they are and teach 'em up from there, right?

Only one problem.

I spaced.

Seriously. Me. The guy who posts movie quotes for all of my students to guess during the day. I wracked my brain for some good examples, and I came up with nothin'.

Squat.
Diddly.
Bubkus.
You get the picture.

So yeah, I copped out and asked them to volunteer some examples (those that got what I meant by In Medias Res, at least) and got a few good ones...the Bourne films, Bond films, the new one with Nick Cage (Bangkok Dangerous?).

But obviously, I need a much bigger list for next time, and certainly more of a genre variety. I am constantly chastised because I don't use enough quotes from "girl movies" (Better Off Dead counts, doesn't it?). So anyway, a number of acceptable "girl movies" that start in the middle of things would be massively helpful.

Whaddaya think, gang? Any ideas to help my poor burgeoning writers grow? Alex, I'm lookin' at you here (just kiddin')

Comfort, where do you draw the line?

I know a lot of authors say they can write under some pretty extreme circumstances. Riding while the spouse drives, cramped up on a little hotel bed with the laptop or a pad and pen, circling Chicago on the El. I can write under some pretty rough circumstances if I feel the urge.

But not heat.

It's like going to sleep at night. I can be freezing and find a way to get to sleep, and I can write fairly well when I'm cold.

But heat? Not a chance.

See, all week in North Carolina we've had weather that's very spring-esque. That's great, except that our A/C at school hasn't been tripped. So instead, we get the heat running during the day. It's like 85 degrees in my classroom right now.

I can teach in that hot, humid level of sheer suckitude.

But I can't write. And it pisses me off, because my computer at home (where I would be editing) got all virused up, and I can't do anything at school because I'm pissed and miserable.

So what is the threshold for you? What is that one thing, that last straw that says, "nope, can't get it going because ________________"?

A Hurried, but New, Beginning

I find myself in an interesting position. Due to the snows, today was the last day of exams for the first semester. Tomorrow is the first day of the second semester. I'm also in the editing-the-first-and-fleshing-out-the-premise-for-the-second manuscript stage. Big goings-on, I tell ya. So yeah, we teachers are all a little freaked out because we have no break at all between the two, and I'm even more freaked out with my manuscripts, even though I have no real deadline for them. I just never wanted to be the "I spent five years writing this!" guy.

I imagine that freaked-out feeling must be what it's like when you have book deadlines, on top of editing deadlines, along with putting together a premise for the next book (series or no). Sounds pretty harrowing.

I'd still take it in a heartbeat, but that's not what has me concerned.

How will I handle it when I have those deadlines AND school?

See, here's the thing: most writers I know of, who are the primary family breadwinners, still have their day job. It's widely known that only a precious few have the sales to live on their writing alone. That said, you've got to burn a hell of a lot of midnight oil to essentially work two full-time careers like that.

I worry about whether or not I'll be able to cope, because it's not a matter of choosing what to sacrifice at night when you have stuff to grade. My writing can go at my own pace NOW, because I'm writing to land that first agent/editor/book deal. But once those wheels get rolling, I will still have papers to grade. I am completely in awe of authors who make that work, because I have no idea how I'll do it.

Don't get me wrong, I AM going to find out. I'm just wondering/worrying what it'll be like when I do.

So my question is this:
To published authors - Man, how do you guys and gals do it? (honest answers or pithy comments welcome...Shelby, Getze, I'm looking at you two here...)

To pre-published writers - Am I alone in this, or does anyone else worry about the same thing?

"Kids these days...."

Okay, so the other day I started my lesson working through some of HAMLET, and I discovered that most of them hadn't read the previous night. Okay, it's HAMLET, even for academic level Seniors, it can be difficult. The problem is that some of them hadn't been reading their assignments on a semi-regular basis. So I asked why.

Because they don't read at all, some said. And a few even said they don't see the point, because they don't plan to go to college, so why bother?

And yet they watch movies all the time because they "love a really good story."

Ugh. This drives me nuts, and I doubt I'm alone in this. They want a story, but according to many of them, they like the blockbusters where they don't have to actually think. Now understand, this isn't all of my students. Not even a majority. But it was enough that it concerned me.

Many hadn't read a book for pleasure (rather than for school) in over a year. And in quite a few cases, I had to discuss what movies they liked to figure out the kind of story they might find interesting. Wanna know why? Because when I asked, many of them said they would have no idea where to start in a bookstore to find the kind of books they might like.

Let me repeat that. They had no idea what GENRE they might like, and where to find it in bookstores. So I did what I could to help, but I wanted to open this up to you guys to give me more suggestions. As far as movies, they named everything, including sci-fi, fantasy, thriller, historical fiction, romance, mystery, military, etc.

So if you were to recommend books/authors in any of those genres to a high school senior who desperately needs to read something interesting (to get them back into it), what or who would it be? Any suggestions welcome, give 'em your best shot!!

"The very best time of year!"

One of my favorite things about the holidays is the time. I do my best to get whatever grading I plan to do over the break, and finish it before I go. That leaves me time to do two things: Read, and Write. I plan to spend most of the free time I have over this break doing both of those things.

I've taken a sufficient enough amount of time away, and am now ready to tackle those revisions for my WIP. At the same time, I have some reading to catch up on. Marcus Sakey's THE BLADE ITSELF, Alexandra Sokoloff's THE HARROWING, Jeffery Deaver's THE BODIES LEFT BEHIND, Lori G. Armstrong's HALLOWED GROUND, and Jason Pinter's THE MARK are sitting atop my TBR pile.

And I await Christmas time (and J.D. Rhoades, and Sean Chercover, and Toni McGee Causey, and Louise Ure, and Robert Crais, and Laura Lippman, and....) for the same reason, as I will be asking almost exclusively for books this year. Hey, any small boost I can give to the publishing biz, I plan to.

So, what are you planning to read over the break, and is your writing getting some time on the docket as well?

"You know what they have now? Devil's Night greeting cards..."

I used to love Halloween. I mean I loved it like there was no other holiday. Every year I looked forward to what I would be. It was ridiculous the fervor with which I anticipated this holiday. And my reasoning was not a good one. See, most kids like All Hallows Eve because of the candy, or the trick-or-treating, or to see what cool costume they can wear.

Not me. I looked forward to Halloween because finally, for one day out of the year, I didn't have to be me.

Kinda pathetic, huh?

Even as a kid, I was such a useless, sappy little loser that I literally hated being me. A white, middle-class kid with a loving home, two sets of parents who loved me, and a pretty solid upbringing, and I thought I was such a waste because no one outside my family saw me as special. As better than everyone else in SOME way, like the jocks were at sports, and the super smart kids were in class, and the good-looking, smooth-talkers were with the girls (yep, even in middle school we had smooth-talkers).

I was ordinary. And I hated being ordinary.

I was so upset one Halloween in High School because I couldn't find the costume I wanted (that wasn't the only thing wrong, by a long shot), that I wound up spending about a month in a psychiatric ward for teens. All because I missed my chance to be special for a day.

Don't worry, I can now look back and see what a moron I was. Promise. But I bring this up for two reasons.
1) The obvious...it's Halloween and people everywhere are talking about what a fun day it is. But I'm a cynic, so I don't do shiny and happy. Shiny and Happy are not exactly noir, now are they?

2) I see, every day, the same white upper-middle-class kids bemoaning their lives because the world won't function according to what they see as right, or appropriate. Won't think THEIR way is special. And more and more, I see people in the world taking these kids' side because those kids could be damaged.

Get a grip.

There are too many things all around this globe that are so much worse than what these kids deal with every day, and yet they can't get past their own perceptions and walk in someone else's shoes for a bit. If they could, there might be less whining and drama, and more hard work and production and appreciation for life going on.

So this is my PSA for the day, soapbox and all. If your son or daughter is in the same weepy, narcissistic-but-self-loathing state I was, then sit them down and help them find a little perspective.

And if you are one of these kids who sees yourself at the center of all that the world is sending crashing down on your head?
Take a deep breath, a look in the mirror, and make YOURSELF special. Stop waiting for the world to find you. Put yourself out and there and say, "Dammit, I'm special." Then, when the world ignores, laughs at, or degrades you for doing so...keep working to make yourself special. Keep doing it until that one day when someone you're not related to says, "Hey! You're right!"

And that'll just be the start. Sorta like writing and publication, huh?
Happy Halloween, everybody.

The dangers of a technologically deficient teacher with an email account

Okay, so I don't like to bash a colleague if I can help it, but this is getting ridiculous.

On Monday, I opened an email from someone advertising something for elementary students. I teach High School. I checked, and the original sender had clearly made a mistake. She had emailed EVERY school in the county, not just the elementary schools. Not the brightest thing, but a simple mistake, no big deal. I deleted it and moved on.

Shortly thereafter I got several emails in succession. They were all replies, but I got them because the first person had hit "REPLY TO ALL", left the subject line the same, and wrote "please remove me from this list." They thought it was some random junk email. No big deal, but they clicked Reply to All. Again, it's a mistake, but a costly one. I have since gotten CLOSE TO A HUNDRED EMAILS asking me (and everyone else on this list) to also please remove them from the list, it's three days later, and we're still getting them!!!

People, are you serious? We have to work so hard to combat the ridiculous stereotype that those who can't do, teach. Do you really not get why this is wrong? I'd wager every one of your students, failing or passing, repeating or otherwise, would have handled the situation better than those of you who are STILL doing this.

Ugh.

Originally posted Oct. 2, 2008: Ahh, Thursdays....

Interestingly enough, I've had a decent day. I got caught up on a good bit of grading because my student teacher had the majority of the classes today. It's a really great feeling to get all of that work off of your back.

Unfortunately, I still can't take the time to write tonight, because I have just a little bit of grading left and then I'm going to watch some playoff baseball. Nothing like October, even when my favorite team is halfway across the country. Considering they're based completely on the other coast, I guess I should feel lucky.

Anyway, I just thought I'd talk a little bit about life as a teacher and a writer. Depending on what you teach, it can be interesting/difficult. I'd love to give all kinds of advice to unpublished writers out there, but I am one myself. As such, my advice probably isn't worth much.

But as a teacher, I can tell you that it can be really tough to maintain a marriage (even when your spouse also teaches), be a writer, and be a successful teacher all at the same time. And here in my home county it's even worse. Here's why:

These days, we're so brazenly politically correct that we can't let a student feel bad. Even if they didn't do their work because they were just plain lazy, we can't hold them accountable. We (and by we I mean teachers and administrators at the school level, NOT the county level) just have to work harder at motivating our students. And we also need to work to be better teachers, because the whole state isn't doing as well as our county, and therefore we are the problem. It's complicated, I know.

Then there's the whole writing thing. If I didn't have more homework each night than my students, it wouldn't be a problem for me to write til my heart's content. But that's not how it works. And when I get to school at 6:50am and don't leave until somewhere between 4pm and 6pm, then have to go home and be a good husband lest we both go insane and grow apart from all the grading, well writing 500-2000 words a day is daunting.

So I write when I can, and it's never as much or for as long as I'd like. J. A. Konrath has talked several times about the myth of "you must be disciplined and write every day!" and I appreciate a published author letting the rest of us unwashed masses of mystery know that it's okay if life just muscles in once in a blue moon. If not, we'd all spend our every waking moments engrossed in weird tales of serial killers and decapitation and bullets whizzing and....

hey, wait a minute....