Timesuckers...or, "Watch out, these people VOTE!!"

I've discovered something about myself (I really always knew, but work with me here): I have a horribly addictive personality. Couple that with the ability to focus on really meaningless shit, and you have the things I am supposed to be doing getting left by the wayside in favor of timesuckers. I'm sure, knowing that many of the 5 or 6 of you who are reading this are unpublished writers like me, you are aware that writers are notorious for letting shit distract them when the writing isn't going well. And unpublished writers are the worst. If you don't know that, I'm probably talking about you. Don't take offense, I'm talking about me, too.

By the way, if you don't know what a timesucker is, you need to get out more. If you do know what a timesucker is, or you're like me and know ALL TOO WELL what they are, then we REALLY need to get out more, eh?

So anyway, as I'm tooling around the internet (instead of doing what I should be) over the last few days, I found a new one.

Whoa, Nelly, did I find one. I thought it was going to be funny. Instead, it terrified me.

The site is called (The Customer is) Not Always Right. Wow. Just...wow.

Yeah, I know some of it, even most of it maybe, is made up by people with too much time on their hands. But come on. You can't read through the horror stories on that site and not remember incredibly stupid people you've come across. For instance, I can remember being asked by someone (names witheld to protect, and all that), "Okay, so that's how I play the DVD. Once it's over, how do I rewind it?"

And that's nothing compared to the stuff I've heard up and down the halls on a daily basis...

(even on workdays)....

Remember, many of the people on that site, at least the ones that involve Americans, can vote. And you wonder why our government is so monumentally huge and sluggish and inefficient.

I came to one solid conclusion as I read through that site: They should license people to breed.

I know, I know.

Hey listen, I TEACH Orwell's 1984, and all about the Orwellian State. I know the dangers. Hell, I've been paying attention as the last two presidents have grown the government exponentially. I know governmental control is a bad thing, okay? Big Government=Bad.

Thanks. I get it.


I still came to, and stand by, that conclusion. Because the thought of some of those people raising children frightens me (and I'm using the word "raising" in such a broad and expansive and nonspecific way that I may have stretched any real meaning right out of it). Go ahead, peruse the site. It would scare the shit out of Jaws, I'm convinced.

Okay, Jaws would just be like, "drop 'em in the water, I'll take care of it," but you get the idea. Think on that for a minute, whydontcha, and have a good weekend....

Comfort, where do you draw the line?

I know a lot of authors say they can write under some pretty extreme circumstances. Riding while the spouse drives, cramped up on a little hotel bed with the laptop or a pad and pen, circling Chicago on the El. I can write under some pretty rough circumstances if I feel the urge.

But not heat.

It's like going to sleep at night. I can be freezing and find a way to get to sleep, and I can write fairly well when I'm cold.

But heat? Not a chance.

See, all week in North Carolina we've had weather that's very spring-esque. That's great, except that our A/C at school hasn't been tripped. So instead, we get the heat running during the day. It's like 85 degrees in my classroom right now.

I can teach in that hot, humid level of sheer suckitude.

But I can't write. And it pisses me off, because my computer at home (where I would be editing) got all virused up, and I can't do anything at school because I'm pissed and miserable.

So what is the threshold for you? What is that one thing, that last straw that says, "nope, can't get it going because ________________"?

A Hurried, but New, Beginning

I find myself in an interesting position. Due to the snows, today was the last day of exams for the first semester. Tomorrow is the first day of the second semester. I'm also in the editing-the-first-and-fleshing-out-the-premise-for-the-second manuscript stage. Big goings-on, I tell ya. So yeah, we teachers are all a little freaked out because we have no break at all between the two, and I'm even more freaked out with my manuscripts, even though I have no real deadline for them. I just never wanted to be the "I spent five years writing this!" guy.

I imagine that freaked-out feeling must be what it's like when you have book deadlines, on top of editing deadlines, along with putting together a premise for the next book (series or no). Sounds pretty harrowing.

I'd still take it in a heartbeat, but that's not what has me concerned.

How will I handle it when I have those deadlines AND school?

See, here's the thing: most writers I know of, who are the primary family breadwinners, still have their day job. It's widely known that only a precious few have the sales to live on their writing alone. That said, you've got to burn a hell of a lot of midnight oil to essentially work two full-time careers like that.

I worry about whether or not I'll be able to cope, because it's not a matter of choosing what to sacrifice at night when you have stuff to grade. My writing can go at my own pace NOW, because I'm writing to land that first agent/editor/book deal. But once those wheels get rolling, I will still have papers to grade. I am completely in awe of authors who make that work, because I have no idea how I'll do it.

Don't get me wrong, I AM going to find out. I'm just wondering/worrying what it'll be like when I do.

So my question is this:
To published authors - Man, how do you guys and gals do it? (honest answers or pithy comments welcome...Shelby, Getze, I'm looking at you two here...)

To pre-published writers - Am I alone in this, or does anyone else worry about the same thing?

Originally posted Oct. 2, 2008: Ahh, Thursdays....

Interestingly enough, I've had a decent day. I got caught up on a good bit of grading because my student teacher had the majority of the classes today. It's a really great feeling to get all of that work off of your back.

Unfortunately, I still can't take the time to write tonight, because I have just a little bit of grading left and then I'm going to watch some playoff baseball. Nothing like October, even when my favorite team is halfway across the country. Considering they're based completely on the other coast, I guess I should feel lucky.

Anyway, I just thought I'd talk a little bit about life as a teacher and a writer. Depending on what you teach, it can be interesting/difficult. I'd love to give all kinds of advice to unpublished writers out there, but I am one myself. As such, my advice probably isn't worth much.

But as a teacher, I can tell you that it can be really tough to maintain a marriage (even when your spouse also teaches), be a writer, and be a successful teacher all at the same time. And here in my home county it's even worse. Here's why:

These days, we're so brazenly politically correct that we can't let a student feel bad. Even if they didn't do their work because they were just plain lazy, we can't hold them accountable. We (and by we I mean teachers and administrators at the school level, NOT the county level) just have to work harder at motivating our students. And we also need to work to be better teachers, because the whole state isn't doing as well as our county, and therefore we are the problem. It's complicated, I know.

Then there's the whole writing thing. If I didn't have more homework each night than my students, it wouldn't be a problem for me to write til my heart's content. But that's not how it works. And when I get to school at 6:50am and don't leave until somewhere between 4pm and 6pm, then have to go home and be a good husband lest we both go insane and grow apart from all the grading, well writing 500-2000 words a day is daunting.

So I write when I can, and it's never as much or for as long as I'd like. J. A. Konrath has talked several times about the myth of "you must be disciplined and write every day!" and I appreciate a published author letting the rest of us unwashed masses of mystery know that it's okay if life just muscles in once in a blue moon. If not, we'd all spend our every waking moments engrossed in weird tales of serial killers and decapitation and bullets whizzing and....

hey, wait a minute....