Thursday, October 28, 2010

Timesuckers...or, "Watch out, these people VOTE!!"

I've discovered something about myself (I really always knew, but work with me here): I have a horribly addictive personality. Couple that with the ability to focus on really meaningless shit, and you have the things I am supposed to be doing getting left by the wayside in favor of timesuckers. I'm sure, knowing that many of the 5 or 6 of you who are reading this are unpublished writers like me, you are aware that writers are notorious for letting shit distract them when the writing isn't going well. And unpublished writers are the worst. If you don't know that, I'm probably talking about you. Don't take offense, I'm talking about me, too.

By the way, if you don't know what a timesucker is, you need to get out more. If you do know what a timesucker is, or you're like me and know ALL TOO WELL what they are, then we REALLY need to get out more, eh?

So anyway, as I'm tooling around the internet (instead of doing what I should be) over the last few days, I found a new one.

Whoa, Nelly, did I find one. I thought it was going to be funny. Instead, it terrified me.

The site is called (The Customer is) Not Always Right. Wow.

Yeah, I know some of it, even most of it maybe, is made up by people with too much time on their hands. But come on. You can't read through the horror stories on that site and not remember incredibly stupid people you've come across. For instance, I can remember being asked by someone (names witheld to protect, and all that), "Okay, so that's how I play the DVD. Once it's over, how do I rewind it?"
And that's nothing compared to the stuff I've heard up and down the halls on a daily basis...
(even on workdays)....

Remember, many of the people on that site, at least the ones that involve Americans, can vote. And you wonder why our government is so monumentally huge and sluggish and inefficient.
I came to one solid conclusion as I read through that site: They should license people to breed.

I know, I know.
Hey listen, I TEACH Orwell's 1984, and all about the Orwellian State. I know the dangers. Hell, I've been paying attention as the last two presidents have grown the government exponentially. I know governmental control is a bad thing, okay? Big Government=Bad.
Thanks. I get it.

I still came to, and stand by, that conclusion. Because the thought of some of those people raising children frightens me (and I'm using the word "raising" in such a broad and expansive and nonspecific way that I may have stretched any real meaning right out of it). Go ahead, peruse the site. It would scare the shit out of Jaws, I'm convinced.

Okay, Jaws would just be like, "drop 'em in the water, I'll take care of it," but you get the idea. Think on that for a minute, whydontcha, and have a good weekend....


elfarmy17 said...

Now I know what site I'll be on until dinner...

As I highly doubt breeding licenses will come to pass anytime soon, I've been thinking for a week or two that colleges should have a minor (or, hey, even a major if strictly necessary) called "Parenting," focusing mainly on the parent, since every hypothetical unborn child is different, so prospective parents need broad teachings on the subject.
Another time sucker of a similar ilk is
Very painful to read, though- the stupidity is astounding, especially on the "top 100" page.

jnantz said...

elfarmy - Problem with that is, you'll have people screaming from the woodwork that THEIR methods of parenting are the best, just look at how well little Johnny turned out (and odds are 10-1 Lil' J will be one of the morons on that least twice). Nevermind the fact that many of the people who are on that site, and therefore CLEARLY stupid, couldn't get in to a college even if you paid their way. but then, that's just my opinion, and I'm sure I'll catch all kinds of flack for it. Probably by someone who is on that site....

Astrognash said...

Understanding this post is several months old, but also understanding that bloggers who have small blogs tend to read whatever comments they can get, I'd like to offer another time-sucker, but at least one which has a comments section that encourages prose and grammar:

Generally tends to make fun of Criagslist postings which exhibit extraordinarily bad grammar, syntax, and spelling. Often in the (hilarious) comments section, regular readers will post wit, often in the form of prose or poetry.
The commenters over there (including myself) also tend to be of the opinion that breeding licenses should be a reality, by the way.

jnantz said...

Shit. Well there goes any real chance at more productivity. Thanks a lot, Astrognash.

(No seriously, thanks, that shit is funny as hell!)