The Pen-ferno

"Somebody to Love" - Wake County SPCA

2011-10-10T21:23:00.002-04:00

Watch this video with dry eyes. I triple-dog dare you (no pun intended...swear!).

Closing Down - Update: Not so fast, my friend...

2011-08-18T11:19:00.004-04:00

About a month ago, as a knee-jerk response to a new social networking policy from Wake County Schools, I posted this:
"For the three or four of you who have followed this, I haven't posted in a while anyway, but this blog will be going away because of the dangers inherent in the new wcpss policy about social networking. I will be taking this down in a few days, and so I say...adios."

Turns out, maybe I was being a bit impulsive (and perhaps chickenshit?). The policy was geared toward teachers "friending" students and the parents of WCPSS students, and thus creating an inappropriate relationship with them outside of the school on a private forum like facebook. As it happens, this blog is not only public, but completely unaffiliated with my other career as a teacher, and there is no way to create one of those relationships even if I wanted to (and I don't...my wife is the single greatest human being alive, so why would I?).

So, in short, this oft-updated blog (j/k) will continue as it has, and maybe even get a few more posts, because from everyone I've spoken to I'm legally allowed to have a blog that I don't access or update from work. Carry on....

A Fellow Advocate for Adopting Pets - Mr. Simon Wood

2010-11-08T08:44:00.002-05:00

My wife and I will always have rescue dogs, if we have dogs at all. We both think the Tamaskan wolfdogs, given notoriety lately because of NC State adopting one as its live mascot, are absolutely beautiful. And frankly, we both want one, quite badly.

However, we've both agreed from here on out, only recues, just like the girls we have now.

Those of you (all 4 of you) who have followed this blog know I am a big advocate for adopting from shelters, so I was especially touched when I learned today of the awesome deal Simon Wood is offereing on all of his books for the next two weeks. Thus, I thought I would repost it here. To wit:

So from Simon:

This is for the animal lovers out there.

I doubt anyone is aware that my wife and I foster animals for the ASPCA and other organizations. We usually take the no hope cases, where the animals aren’t expected to survive or need specialist care. Over the last few years, we've rescued dozens of cats and dogs and found them new homes. Our family pets are all rescues -- ones that we couldn’t give up after the care we'd given them.

Our cat, Bug, was one of those rescues we couldn’t let go of after we’d taken him in. After five fun fill years, Bug died last week. He was a great cat and a lot of fun to have around the house. We’re going to miss him a lot.

In Bug’s honor, I’m going to donate all eBook royalties earned at Amazon and Smashwords.com for the next two weeks to Best Friends, an organization I truly admire. This applies to the following titles:

The Fall Guy
Asking For Trouble
Working Stiffs
The Scrubs
Road Rash
Dragged into Darkness

Please feel free to share this appeal on Twitter, Facebook or your blog. If there's a strong showing, I’ll extend the appeal.

Thanks for listening,
Simon Wood

So grab you a book for the upcoming holidays!!!

Timesuckers...or, "Watch out, these people VOTE!!"

2010-10-28T08:03:00.008-04:00

I've discovered something about myself (I really always knew, but work with me here): I have a horribly addictive personality. Couple that with the ability to focus on really meaningless shit, and you have the things I am supposed to be doing getting left by the wayside in favor of timesuckers. I'm sure, knowing that many of the 5 or 6 of you who are reading this are unpublished writers like me, you are aware that writers are notorious for letting shit distract them when the writing isn't going well. And unpublished writers are the worst. If you don't know that, I'm probably talking about you. Don't take offense, I'm talking about me, too.

By the way, if you don't know what a timesucker is, you need to get out more. If you do know what a timesucker is, or you're like me and know ALL TOO WELL what they are, then we REALLY need to get out more, eh?

So anyway, as I'm tooling around the internet (instead of doing what I should be) over the last few days, I found a new one.

Whoa, Nelly, did I find one. I thought it was going to be funny. Instead, it terrified me.

The site is called (The Customer is) Not Always Right. Wow. Just...wow.

Yeah, I know some of it, even most of it maybe, is made up by people with too much time on their hands. But come on. You can't read through the horror stories on that site and not remember incredibly stupid people you've come across. For instance, I can remember being asked by someone (names witheld to protect, and all that), "Okay, so that's how I play the DVD. Once it's over, how do I rewind it?"

And that's nothing compared to the stuff I've heard up and down the halls on a daily basis...

(even on workdays)....

Remember, many of the people on that site, at least the ones that involve Americans, can vote. And you wonder why our government is so monumentally huge and sluggish and inefficient.

I came to one solid conclusion as I read through that site: They should license people to breed.

I know, I know.

Hey listen, I TEACH Orwell's 1984, and all about the Orwellian State. I know the dangers. Hell, I've been paying attention as the last two presidents have grown the government exponentially. I know governmental control is a bad thing, okay? Big Government=Bad.

Thanks. I get it.

I still came to, and stand by, that conclusion. Because the thought of some of those people raising children frightens me (and I'm using the word "raising" in such a broad and expansive and nonspecific way that I may have stretched any real meaning right out of it). Go ahead, peruse the site. It would scare the shit out of Jaws, I'm convinced.

Okay, Jaws would just be like, "drop 'em in the water, I'll take care of it," but you get the idea. Think on that for a minute, whydontcha, and have a good weekend....

Writers' Police Academy - AWESOME!!!

2010-09-27T17:25:00.003-04:00

Just got back from the Christmas present my wife got me last year. I've been foaming at the mouth to go to this thing ever since I read about it on Lee Lofland's blog. And you know what?

It. Rocked.

There is no other way to describe it. Great job by Lee, Verna Dreisbach, The High Point Public Library, and everyone else who pitched in! Got to meet and hang out with lots of published writers (a great thing in and of itself), and even went through F.A.T.S. training with the amazing, talented, and all-around wonderful C.J. Lyons and Kelly Irvin (who both kicked ass in the training just as well as they do on the written page)!

I will be posting some of the stuff I learned from the workshops for you guys over the coming weeks, along with lousy photos I took with my cell phone (had the digital camera there with me, but the batteries got a really good charge since I left them in Raleigh...).

So, stay tuned for more, coming soon!

First Gear

2010-08-03T15:37:00.003-04:00

Yeah, it's been forever, I know. I let life get in the way. So sue me.

Anyway, I managed to let life get in the way of my writing, which is the biggest no-no out there if you're a writer. Why? Because writers write. They don't talk about their book to others. They don't sit and daydream about the story for a month or two. They sit their ass down in the chair and write.

And if it sucks? Successful writers edit.

They don't look at the first piece of random frog shit they come up with and say, "MASTERPIECE!!!" They go back to the frog shit and clean it up until it's less like shit and more like a real story. Then they repeat until there isn't a whiff of shit to be found.

But it's that time between initial idea and blank screen that causes me trouble. Because frankly, I DO daydream the story, and take too damn long to organize it, and so forth. Why? Because I dove in the first time, and I could never clean it up past the "still whiffs of shit over here" phase.

It's okay, I can admit it, because the fact is it wasn't a good story. I have no idea if this one will be better, but I have taken WWAAAAAAYYYYYYY too long in preparation just to try and make sure it is. Now I'm ready to let that clutch out and start off.

And I'm freaked out. So the only thing I can do is put the (horrible) working title on the top of page one, and away we go.

How about you? What's it take to get you to the starting line? Let the clutch out slow, or pop it and hope the sucker starts?

Get out there and ADOPT!!!

2010-06-10T09:32:00.002-04:00

The SPCA of Wake County is celebrating 43 years of saving lives by reducing all adoption fees this Saturday, June 12 and Sunday, June 13. Their shelter is packed full of adoptable cats, dogs, puppies, kittens looking to go home.

Taking the Plunge...

2010-05-13T14:17:00.004-04:00

So we all know about the "Bright and Shinies", right? That idea that grabs you around the middle of your current work (if you get that far, hell it's hit me in plotting stage before), and plays your ego against your own self-doubt?

You know...the self-doubt says, "it must be the writing that is screwed up, because this is dragging." And, instead of shlogging through it to fix what's wrong and make it work, the B&S swoop in and placate your ego, saying, "NO, it's not the writing, it's just that the idea isn't as good as you first thought...but THIS IDEA over HERE is the one you should really be writing, 'cause it ROCKS!!" Yeah, we all get 'em. I get 'em a lot. I keep a whole MSWord folder of them so I can get back to them.

My questionis, how often does everyone else get them in a completely different genre?

I write crime. Blood, gore, mayhem, violence. That's me. If someone's getting away with disembowelment, or arson of a human being, I'm in.

So am I the only one that worries for our youth if my NEW BRIGHT SHINY idea (a YA that is more urban fantasy than thriller...who knew?) gets any traction in the marketplace? Look, I'm no great shakes when it comes to publishing credentials, so I'm not saying monitor little Sammy's and Sally's library account just yet, but still. No one gets set on fire? And there's not any hint of a hitman? WTF am I gonna write about?

I'm actually really, genuinely excited about this story, but I'm wondering if it's just me that thinks, "Hmm, stuff that's totally unlike anything I've ever written before? SURE, I CAN DO THAT, NO PROBLEM!!!"

It's just me, right? Nobody else would be stupid enough to actually have this kind of blind and unfounded confidence, right?

Is there something wrong with me?

2010-04-28T10:40:00.002-04:00

So, I have a colleague who also teaches Creative Writing, and he told me of a very interesting questions one of his students asked him the other day. The kid, according to him, seems like a very passive, mild, sweet student, but she writes really dark, violent fiction.

My kind of girl, y'know?

And yet, she says people are telling her she belongs in a mental hospital because there's something wrong with her to come up with this stuff. Some of the ones telling her this are related to her.

Seriously.

Now, I haven't read any of her work, but my friend has read mine and says the kid's work is no darker, just a little more gore in some places. So who the fuck is telling this kid something's wrong with her?

Does that mean there's something wrong with me? I've got four very different stories out there, and each of them has something dark in it. Does that mean I'm crazy too? (Okay, ignore that one, I am)

Look, I'm all for a sense of propriety here. There are some truly sick people out there, and I condemn them for their acts. But that's just it...they are ACTS. Hell, Eminem says some pretty offensive shit in his music, but until he actually BECOMES a rapist in a Jason mask, I'm not going to sit here and tell you he's certifiable. And I damn sure wouldn't if I was RELATED to him. (He might come after me, if nothing else).

But hey, I'm very biased, so let's hear it from you guys. Are the "violent crime" writers among us truly sick in the head, or do some folks just need to remove the holier-than-thou stick before they sit down next time?

Rescue of the Week: U-TURN

2010-04-27T11:07:00.003-04:00

Okay, so once again it's been a while. Don't ask. At any rate, I have a little climber that shouldn't be left alone in a fenced yard, but would make a great addition to any active home: U-TURN!!

She's a full-grown 20 lb. Beagle mix, a little "senior" at 8 years old, and very sweet.

For more information about this animal, call:

SPCA of Wake County at (919) 772-2326

Ask for information about animal ID number A062812

What's your style, and why?

2010-04-08T11:01:00.002-04:00

Things are crazy at the moment, so I'm just going to drop in and ask something quickly: What's your plot-preparation style?

The reason I ask, to be honest, is we are getting into "plotting vs. pantsing" in my creative fiction class, and I'm just always curious how other folks go about their writing. I've read plenty of accounts of authors who can't start a book unless they know how it ends and what most of the major twists and turns will be. Then there are those who can't plan it out ahead of time because it is so boring to try and write after that, and they go on to a more engaging and NEW story to write.

Me, I'm actually trying something new. My first manuscript was one that I did as a half-and-half. I started with a rough chapter-by-chapter outline (really rough, and I rewrote--or at least re-ordered--the first third of the book after I had written it). Thing is, I was so excited about the story that I dove in right after finishing the rough outline.

Boy did that screw me. Granted, it was my first shot at a novel-length manuscript, but even for that it stunk. I've since gone through all the rewrites, and I'm pretty happy with it even if it never gets published. Maybe someday if I hit it big, I'll put it on my web site as a freebie or something, who knows. Point is, I am not a guy who can just dive in and go. I gotta know:

1) where I'm headed
2) how I plan to get there, and
3) if that plan is a sound one.

Yep, missed step 3 that first time....

So now I'm trying the Alexandra Sokoloff Index Card Method, and we'll see how it goes. Once again I'm really jazzed to get into the story, but this time I'm gonna make sure my plan is well-thought-out beforehand.

So what about you? Do you plot away the days before writing, or do you jump on the chair, strap in, hold on, and fly that story by the seat of your pants?

Rescue of the Week - TATER!

2010-03-15T09:16:00.002-04:00

Trying to get back in the swing of things, so I thought I'd send you another pup who needs a good home. If you need a bundle of energy and can keep up, here's Tater!

For more information about this animal, call:

SPCA of Wake County at (919) 772-2326

Ask for information about animal ID number A060741

Characters - What's your recipe?

2010-02-15T08:06:00.003-05:00

What is it we all want readers to take away from our work? Lots of writers have different ideas about this, and I'm always curious what makes other writers out there (published or not) tick. So I figured I'd start the conversation myself and see where, if anywhere, it goes.

I want my readers to come away with a solid understanding of who my characters are, and to identify with them as though they were real people.

I think they have to be memorable to do that.

So how do we go about creating memorable characters? Well, I always start with some particular emotion or motivation that I want to stand out. Sometimes I'll even use that to help me find a character's name, or maybe a specific trait or physical feature.

I also think they have to have multiple flaws. Few readers want the Johnny Good-guy who is always polished, perfect, and unflappable. How boring is that?

And they have to have humor. Ever met a cop who didn't have a good sense of humor? They see the worst that society has to offer, and in many cases they have to laugh to keep from crying. Or a PI who isn't a wiseass? (I think you have to pass a comedy test to get your license here in NC, to be honest).

Next I stir in a few friends that can help define personality by offering them situations and conversations in which they can reveal their character.

Bake it in the pressure-cooker of a really tough case, and hopefully you wind up with a character people will think they know. If it's done really well, they'll even miss that character and want to hear more about him/her/it(?), which is the ultimate compliment, right?

So what about you guys? What's your recipe?

Rescue of the Week - SQUIRREL

2010-02-15T07:57:00.002-05:00

Well it's been a while since I put up a rescue. For those pets who haven't gotten picked up, I apologize. So without further ado, here is a sweet little lady named SQUIRREL!

For more information about this animal, call:
SPCA of Wake County at (919) 772-2326
Ask for information about animal ID number A061588

Here it comes, here it comes...

2010-01-18T18:30:00.002-05:00

Your 19th nervous breakdown? No. But we're in the middle of exams here, which means the new school year is only a week away.

And with it, a fresh batch of sinners for the P...er, I mean a new group of students in my creative writing class, and therefore a good group with which to start my new "come one, come all, and offer criticism to the young and enthusiastic writers who want to learn" initiative here at the Pen-ferno.

So be patient, my friends, as there will soon be some new writers you can push to be the best they can be.

Opportunities for All - A Contest (of sorts)

2009-12-15T14:40:00.004-05:00

I've been mulling over an idea for a while now. I realized some time ago that, though I see people checking in a lot, I'm not really providing anything other than a blog roll and the occasional nudge to adopt a cute kitty or pup. And so I had been rattling this thought around in my head - giving people a chance at offering feedback to newbie writers.

And in some cases, by newbie, I mean VERY raw talents. Some more so than others.

What finally did it was seeing a recent blog post by someone I respect a lot, and it just sorta seemed like a sign (Unless...JT, are you reading my mind? If so, what was it my wife said last week that she wanted for Christmas??).

JT Ellison and JA Konrath have both spoken/written many times about being someone who adds value. I don't have a lot of value I can add from my own experience (wanna learn to be a better teacher? Of course not, you already know, because anyone can teach, right?). So instead, I'm going to try to "give something back" in the form of opportunity, both for you the readers AND for my students.

See, those creative writing students of mine who hope to some day be published will get the opportunity to receive real world feedback. No, this isn't a publishing credit, but it is a chance to get opinions from folks who come to a writer/reader-oriented blog regularly.

Don't worry, I will do my best to minimize their delusions that their story will get 70-80 comments (y'know, from all 6 of you out there), or that this story they put up will get all nice comments, or any at all for that matter. I will also make sure they understand that some magazines won't like that fact that their chosen story has appeared anywhere else, even a place as innocuous as this blog. Be that as it may, I thought this could be a great way for any of you out there to drop a little knowledge or advice on a youngster who is probably tired of hearing it from me, and also a great way for them to get that very first hurdle of "putting their stuff out there for consumption" over with. And don't worry, this is strictly voluntary, on both sides.

Would you rather not say anything than be nice? Okay.

Do you genuinely not know why you dislike like it, you just do? Okay.

Do you love it and want to sign them to an eight-figure contract? Okay, I'll only take a small finder's fee...say 40%. (Yeah, I know, but it sounded funny in my head)

Anyway, I look forward to my first submission coming soon (I'll keep you updated through the holidays), and if you have any suggestions, fire away.

They made a book outta that movie?

2009-12-03T12:47:00.003-05:00

Tooling around the net the other day, and I got to thinking about books being made into films. See, I know lots of novels get optioned but never make it to the screen, but I wonder if it's really to the author's chagrin or not. They've already gotten some nice bank out of the optioning, haven't they (if not, please let me know and I'll fix the post)?

I know the possibility of big stardom comes with a successful film that ramps up your book sales. It may even bring you new fans. Hell, I started reading Deaver because I had seen and liked the Denzel film.

But then there's a guy like Robert Crais, who was fine with his stand-alones on the silver screen, but refuses to option the rights to anything with Elvis Cole or Joe Pike...presumably because he thinks Hollywood would screw it up (be honest, they would).

What do you think? Would you go for the big movie and the check, even if Hollywood completely altered (or even destroyed) your characters or book? And if you are a reader, what do you think when this happens? Are you happy the movie got made anyway, or bummed that it changed your favorite book so much?

THANK YOU, VETERANS.

2009-11-12T07:27:00.003-05:00

For all who have served, and all still serving: God bless you, and thank you for everything you've done to preserve the freedom so many in this country take for granted. Stay safe, and may you all be welcomed home with love and gratitude.

Do we just love ALL great storytelling?

2009-11-04T08:37:00.002-05:00

I'll tell you a secret, and it's probably the worst kept secret on the planet: I love video games. It's the worst kept secret because, well, I'm a guy. We pretty much all love video games, don't we? Okay, yeah, there are the uber-class men who prefer their glass of wine from the cellar downstairs while listening to something from the Baroque period and watching the stock exchange numbers go by on the bottom of the muted 97" plasma, but they aren't 'guys', they're "refined individuals of quality", so they don't count.

I'm not refined. I'm just an average Joe. And the really cool thing is: my wife loves a lot of the same video games I do.

That's right gentlemen, I got one who loves to sit down and watch a good storyline game with me.

Hell Yeah.

The reason I bring this up is that we just got a new Bioware game for our xbox called Dragonage: Origins. We love Bioware games...played through Mass Effect several times.

But why? I mean, what is it that trips our collective trigger over games like these? The gameplay isn't that much different from many other games. The graphics aren't exactly light years better either. One's Sci-Fi while the more recent is Epic Fantasy. And if you really look at it, the Bioware games don't have any online multiplay, which is what gets so many people pysyched about the Gears of War and Halo franchises.

Wanna hint? It's the storytelling. What we all love about books are the way we can connect with the characters, to feel like we are right there in the moment. So why do so many people trash the idea of grown men who love games like this, where the storytelling is INTERACTIVE?

I just don't get it. Any ideas why there is such a stigma out there?

Rescue of the Week - TONY

2009-10-27T09:35:00.004-04:00

Well folks, it's been a while since I've done a kitty, and I know the thing to do is probably to promote a black cat with it being so close to All Hallows Eve and all, but I couldn't help it. This guy's coloring just won me over. So without anymore gilding the lily, and with no more adieu, I give you: TONY the TIGER!!

Tony is about 3 months old and very pl;ayful. Lots of spirit and patience will make this a great companion for you for years to come!

For more information about this animal, call:

SPCA of Wake County at (919) 772-2326

Ask for information about animal ID number A059220

Bad starts

2009-10-20T08:39:00.004-04:00

I'm an animal lover, as many of you may have guessed. I may not own a farm-full, but I never want to see any animal hurt. I'm a big softy like that. Guilty as charged. Some folks think sometimes I care more about what happens to animals than I do what happens to people. Well, when you have to deal with some of the people I've met in my time, maybe sometimes those folks are right.

As such, it's really hard for me when animals do what they naturally do, and one gets hurt because of it. And when my wife and I have to 'solve' the problem, it makes for a really rough start to the day.

Please forgive me, I'm just feeling sorry for myself and for my wife over something most of you will consider trivial. See, a little over a year or so ago, we discovered that there was a little wild rabbit living under our back deck. We'd see him (we're just guessing it was a him) every once in a while when we'd go out back, and he'd have to run like hell to get out through the fence before one of the dogs caught him. So we got in the habit of going out to check for him before we let them out.

Then he stopped showing up. Just wasn't around any more. We'd seen him maybe once in the last 3-4 months, and he'd gotten so much bigger we figured he'd moved on to start his own little rabbit warren. So we stopped checking for him, 'cause he was never out there anymore anyway.

Yeah, you know where this is headed. This morning, while I was upstairs getting ready for work, my wife let the dogs out to do their business. Apparently, one of them spotted him, and they chased him all over the yard with my wife, God bless her, trying to get them to leave him alone.

Being dogs, they didn't.

They caught him out behind the shed, and they hurt him pretty bad. She knocked on the door to let me know she needed help, and when I saw her holding him my heart broke. He couldn't move his back legs at all. Once she got the dogs off of him, she told me she had to pick him up because he kept trying to crawl but only his little front legs would move. And he was bleeding.

Having to choose between letting him live like that 'hoping' he would get better before something else got him, or putting him down as quickly and painlessly as possible, is a really shitty way to start a day. It just shits a little on how you feel all day long. Yes, it's the humane thing to do so he doesn't suffer, but for an animal lover who doesn't have access to anesthesia or anything like that, it really sucks having to put him down like that. I felt horrible. Hell, I still feel horrible.

If you want a question, tell me what completely unexpected things have ruined your day/week that you just can't plan for.

If not, no worries, I just felt like getting it off my chest. Don't worry, I'll probably delete this later anyway.

Who would star???

2009-10-05T10:50:00.006-04:00

I overheard the greatest word the other day:

Placeholders.

I had never heard that before, and it is so fitting. Here's the concept: as a writer, do you ever 'cast' your books in your head? I have heard of some writers who do this, and it seems to work well for them. Jeffery Deaver, for example, once said at a reading that he had always pictured a grizzled Harrison Ford as Lincoln Rhyme, and I've heard that some other writers picture their protagonists as certain actors when they are writing the book.

I tried it. Apparently I picked the wrong actor.

See, I wonder if part of the rationale behind doing this is the hope that your book will someday make it as a big budget movie. That's an awesome hope. Thing is, I know my first one won't make it. I'm okay with that. As Chris Roerdan said this weekend, writers are the only people on the planet who think they could solo at Carnegie Hall the first time they pick up an instrument. I know that isn't the case (it's okay, trust me, I've read my first completed manuscript).

But the thing is, I keep trying to jam a square peg into a round hole. Or rather, one of my favorite tall and lanky pegs into a moderately squared-off hole. If I were ever to have a book made into a movie, I'd kill for John Cusack to star in it. That would make the world totally cool for me.

Problem, though. Every time I try to picture Cusack as my protagonist, it doesn't work. He's totally wrong for the part. And I'm the one writing the part. HowTF did that happen?

So tell me, do you do this? Or have you tried it, only to be thwarted by your own imagination as I have? Am I just pissing into the wind here?

Rescue of the Week - Cordelia

2009-09-16T15:43:00.003-04:00

I know it's been a while, but now that the school year is back in full swing, it's time to get back to gettin' some animals adopted!! So without further egging the custard, and with no more adieu, I give you:

CORDELIA!

As you can see from the photo, she's a sweet girl who had to get some treatment for her tail. It's healing up, and she'll be a wonderful and happy addition to your home. She's housetrained, crate-trained, and loves people.

For more information about this animal, call:
SPCA of Wake County at (919) 772-2326
Ask for information about animal ID number A057185

And here they come...

2009-08-26T07:52:00.002-04:00

Yep, the kids are back in school.

H'ray.

Honestly, I love the second day of classes (today) so much more than the first. The first is when we have all the admin crap we have to get straight, and it leaves very little time some days to teach an actual lesson (which they need so they get it in mind from day one that they are going to have to work...y'know, kinda like the real world we're preparing them for...)

So I'm actually really excited today. But yesterday was rough. I have to agree with the kids on this one: Summer ain't long enough some years.

So this question is for those of you who have kids, or are kids. What, if anything, does the start of the school year mean in your household? More time to write? Less time? No change whatsoever?

HE'S BACK!

2009-07-16T18:33:00.002-04:00

No, I'm not talking about me. And believe it or not, I'm not referring to Harry Potter, either.

I'm talking about an email I got a short while ago, about which I am VERY excited. It was titled, "Joe's Back."

Yep. Joe Pike.

I'm trying to keep my face impassive, while only letting my lips twitch, but it ain't working.

I was so stoked when I first read THE WATCHMAN, because I always loved Elvis and Joe, but for Joe to get his own gig was really cool. And of course, Robert Crais rocked a fantastic book, again.

And now Joe's getting a second gig. Hell Yeah.

See, Joe Pike is one of several inspirations of one of my own characters I'm really excited to get started writing in the next little bit. He's not the only inspiration, but let's face it. All apologies to 49er fans, there is NO Joe Cool like Pike.

So it got me thinking. Writers: Who are some of the inspirations for your characters? and Readers: What characters stick with you long after the book has been read (or re-read)?

Ti-i-i-ime, is on my side, yes it is....

2009-06-29T18:32:00.009-04:00

God has a funny sense of timing, doesn't he? This past week/weekend has been a doozy. My wife had to deal with some pretty serious grief, and I was heartsick both because of it and for her. Then, we get some good news about her father's successful surgery, but the recovery is taking a while. And now, even with her back home for the day, the writing and editing is just dragging. So what happens?

I get another shot in the arm.

"Midnight on the Links", my third published short story, is now available in the newest issue of Spinetingler Magazine. Just found out about it today.

That feeling of "YES!" just never gets old, y'know? Special thanks to Jack Getze and Sandra Ruttan for taking a chance on me, as this was the first story I ever had accepted for publication.

(Oh, and JT? I swear I wrote that story well before I'd read the Killer Year anthology.)

Since I'm just now getting the itch to ramp up my edits and finish this damn book (can't start on the next until this is as good as it can be...that would be unprofessional, even if I REALLY want to start that next one like NOWNOWNOW!!!), I think I'll leave it at a simple question for you guys:

What has given you a shot in the arm (or a kick in the pants) lately?

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T12:44:00.003-04:00

I awoke this morning to a card at my bedside, "signed" by my two puppies. No, I don't have kids (least not when school's out), but my girls love me and that's enough. Thanks to my beautiful wife for that nice little surprise.

And thanks to my Dad, my Step-Dad, my Grandaddy, my Grandpa, and all the other men in my family who've had such a profound influence in my life. Thank you.

And to all the fathers currently serving around the world so that I might live in a country and be free to say what I feel without fear of governmental retribution or persecution, THANK YOU. God bless every one of you. Happy Father's Day.

Rescue of the Week - Priscilla ADOPTED!

2009-06-09T09:37:00.003-04:00

Well, I just saw that Tuffy (who was just there the other day) has finally gotten a forever companion and a new home. That is great news, because he's a wonderful dog. So now it's time to get this beautiful little lady a place in someone's heart:

Priscilla is a little over a year old, and is just the sweetest, lovingest pup you could hope for. She really is just fantstic to visit with. Stop by and see if she's right for your home!

***EDIT: PRISCILLA IS NO LONGER AT THE SHELTER!!!***

Is silence golden?

2009-06-05T08:27:00.005-04:00

Everyone has their own way of writing. I don't mean style, mind you, but the actual process. A lot of us are plotters, who plan the story to varying degrees before actually beginning to write. Others are "pantsers", who sit down to a blank page/screen and start writing, and just see where the story or their characters take them. That's also not exactly what I'm thinking about.

I'm talking about when you finally sit down, where are you? What has to be in place?

I remember reading Stephen King's Misery, then watching the film (not sure whether the axe or sledgehammer would have been worse, but I'll bet neither was pleasant). In the film, he had to have a glass of wine and one cigarette waiting for him when he finished his draft. That's the kind of particular I'm wondering about.

See, I can write as long as it's on a computer. My hands cramp (I have psoriatic arthritis) if I try to go at a blank page with a pen or pencil. But a keyboard works better for me.

The other thing is sound. I used to have to have complete silence. That's not so easy unless you live completely alone, and I love my wife and dogs more than my writing (by a long shot). So I tried listening to an iPod once.

It was a problem at first, because I kept singing along to the tunes. But as things went along, and I listened to the same playlist every time, I stopped humming along and eventually tuned it out all together.

Now I can't write well without it, which is a blessing and a curse.

So what about you guys? What little peccadilloes are involved in your process of physically putting butt-in-chair and writing?

Rescue of the Week - Joseph ADOPTED!

2009-05-26T11:52:00.004-04:00

Well, shortened week this week, so I wanted to squeeze as much of a rescue as I could into it. This is Joseph. He's huge.

No, I mean it. Dude is B-I-G.

He's also gorgeous and sweet and calm and lovable. And unfortunately, he has heartworms and is being treated for them. You'll notice the telltale patch that's been shaved onto his haunches. But he's an incredibly sweet dog (and the heartworm treatments usually make them more passive anyway). So if you are in the market for a big black version of Clifford from the childrens' stories, this is your guy. Please take him to a good home!

***EDIT: JOSEPH HAS BEEN ADOPTED!!***

It's been a while, since I could....

2009-05-22T14:35:00.005-04:00

Hey gang. Been a week or so between posts. Sorry. I know your lives have been just as hectic as mine has, but I hope all is well. I'm stoked because two of my stories are now on the web, published in Pulp Pusher and The Flash Fiction Offensive, plus another coming soon in Spinetingler Magazine.

But this weekend is the big news. Memorial Day. Why is it big news? Because my wife and I get a break. A three-day weekend to catch up on grading, writing, and sleep.

Not necessarily in that order.

So what about you? What plans do you have for observing and honoring those who have gone before?

And remember, flags at half mast on Monday! Have a great weekend!

Rescue of the Week - Sebastian ADOPTED!

2009-05-11T12:41:00.005-04:00

Sebastian is a very handsome young dog. He is a little nervous when you first approach him, but he warms up to people quickly. He's also very loving, but because he's young and excitable, it might be better if he went to a home with older children rather than young ones.

***EDIT: SOMEONE IS A VERY LUCKY OWNER, BECAUSE SEBASTIAN HAS BEEN ADOPTED!!!***

Now I'm crying over Manny being Manny

2009-05-07T15:40:00.004-04:00

Ugh, I'm bummed. Last night my Carolina Hurricanes won game 3 of the series with Boston, and my LA Dodgers set the modern-day record with a 13-0 record at home to start the season.

And today I found out Manny is gone for 50 games.

F-I-F-T-Y.

Five-Zero.

Look, we have a great team, and we may still win the NL West, if for no other reason than we're playing the equivalent of three AAA clubs and a rookie-ball team. But still, it has to have an effect on the players to lose the guy for 50 freakin' games.

And he isn't even going to appeal, which says a lot.

He was tested and found to have elevated levels of testosterone, which led via paper trail back to a medicine called hCG, which is essentially a fertility drug. Thing is, it is also often used to reactivate the male testosterone-producers after a round of HGH (an illegal steroid that tests can't detect).

Maybe he really needed it for he and his wife, and we're all jumping to the wrong conclusion. Truth is, with Barroid still out there and no one able to indict him and his huge San Francisco melonhead, I don't think it much matters. My team is still going to go a loooooong time without Manny, and I'm now disappointed in a guy I really liked to cheer for. Maybe I'll be a hypocrite when he comes back and still hate Barry but love my guy again. I dunno. But I'm still bummed for the moment.

What does this have to do with writing, you ask? Hell, not much.

Except that somewhere Jeff Shelby, SD madres fan extraordinaire, is bound to be smiling.

Dammit.

"Hey mom! So, about that story..."

2009-05-01T14:21:00.003-04:00

That was a weird conversation to have. My family knows how much I love them. They know how badly I want to be a novelist some day. And I got my first official publishing credit this week.

So I had to call them and tell them not to read it.

See what I mean about weird?

Thing is, the story is noir. It's not over-the-top, but it's a bit strong for most of my family. Even my wife was like, "Good story, but the language and stuff was a bit much for me."

So there I am emailing and calling and saying, "Hey, I'm published!! ....uh, no, I can't tell you where...well, 'cause I don't think you'll feel very good about me when you've read it. But I'm really happy to have it out there with my name on it!!"

Yeah, I know, it's probably just me.

Still, what about you? I'm a crime fiction writer, so most of my stuff will follow some pretty twisted paths. Some of it I'm fine with my folks reading, some of it not so much. Do you have anything out there like that? Or anything unpublished that you hide away and hope no one ever sees that that kind of stuff exists in your head?

Or is it just me?
God...imagine if the parents of some of my students read it...(evil chuckle)

Rescue of the Week - Pearl ADOPTED

2009-04-30T09:37:00.006-04:00

This is for those of you who want a loyal, affectionate, loving pet who will adore you every day. Pearl is the sweetest, cutest little girl you've ever seen. She's listed as a lab mix, but she shows very little of it in her appearance (looks more like a pointer/pit mix). Not only does she show absolutely no aggressive tendencies (even if food is involved, which is really good), but she literally went back and forth between my wife and I to be petted. Wasn't interested in toys, just wanted to love on us and rest her head in our laps. She seemes like she'd be wonderful with kids too.

***EDIT: Pearl has gone home with her new family!!***

What distractions tend to--Hey! Something Shiny!!!

2009-04-22T08:16:00.004-04:00

Okay, I'm not the most dedicated writer, and I may never be. I can admit that. I write most every day. But I also have a few things (mostly family or school related) that take up time as well. Recently it's been the Hurricanes.

I can't help it, I'm a big fan of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Even moreso when the Canes play.

Now I'm an all-around sports fan, and I know a lot of writers are. There isn't anything wrong with that. But I feel guilty as hell sitting on the couch with my wife watching the Canes score with 0.2 seconds left to win a game they should have run away with (grumbleBrodeurgrumble).

Oh, and WAY TO GO CANES!!

Okay, that's not true. I felt guilty as hell AFTER the game was over. During the game, I was alternately cheering and chewing my nails with nervous energy. Oh, and storming off cursing when the Devils tied it in the 3rd.

But the thing is, I know writers always preach "write every day." I do that. I may or may not be a successful writer one day, I have no way to know right now. But should I be beating myself up over taking a night to rest, pretend i don't have stuff to grade, and just watch some playoff puck?

Am I becoming the lazy wannabe that writers snicker about? Or would they say, "Who cares? Why aren't you writing RIGHT NOW?!?" What (if anything) distracts you from your writing?

Rescue of the Week - Winken ADOPTED

2009-04-20T12:35:00.006-04:00

This little guy is Winken! Trust me when I say he is as adorable a pup as you will find.

As someone with a Plott Hound mix at home, I can tell you they make FABULOUS (if slightly strong-willed) pets. They are affectionate and at the same time GREAT guard dogs. Plotts are bred to pack-hunt bears, so a prowler should be no problem.

One thing though, Plotts will bark, and it is a sharp, LOUD warning bark. So if you live in an apartment complex, you may need to check with the front office. Then again, if you aren't a high-energy person, you may want to pass because these dogs need lots of exercise.

Still, they are fantastic companions. And Winken is as cute a little hound as there is anywhere. Come play with him and see!

***EDIT: Winken has been adopted!!!***

So many wonderful choices, how do I choose???

2009-04-08T19:50:00.008-04:00

It's now officially Spring Break starting today (or a truncated version of it, thanks Wake County scheduling...), and my wife and I are doing as much recharging of the batteries as possible. As such, I got nothin' for you guys.

So I figured I would find out a little about your process as readers for those writers out there hoping to woo you. How do you choose which books to read, to buy? What process, if any, do you go through? And what are the factors that may operate on your subconscious when you're looking?

See, I used to go with the Bestsellers only. I know, I know, but bear with me, okay? I was always playing sports, and didn't think I had time for reading when I could just as easily watch a movie in what free time I had between teaching and grading. So I didn't pick up a book unless it had hit the list. I guess I figured, "If everyone else liked it, must be good enough to occupy my time too."

I have a feeling a lot of the writers I know that read this blog are cringing or shaking their heads. Believe me, I'm embarrassed enough already, I promise.

I didn't know how fickle the industry, and the public, could be. So when I thought I'd give writing another try after years of beating myself up (see the high school writing teacher post for more details), I just naturally started without really having read much outside of Michael Connelly, Stephen King, Michael Crichton, and Jeffery Deaver.

The first version sucked. I mean REALLY sucked.

Then I found Miss Snark. And I started reading all over the web. I discovered a fantastic local writer - J.D. Rhoades, who was incredibly gracious and answered all kinds of newbie questions instead of turning up his nosethe way I figured any famous author would.

Then he directed me to another group of writers - the Murderati, which led to others - the First Offenders, the Outfit, the Kill Zone Authors, etc., and suddenly I had a shitload of new books to read before I started trying to revise my manuscript.

But the writing is what led me to Zoe Sharp, and Sean Chercover, and all the rest. I don't know that I would ever have found them otherwise.

And so what about you? How do you pick who is the next on your TBR pile? Is it as weird as my path? Even weirder?

Rescue of the Week - Reuben ADOPTED

2009-04-06T10:16:00.006-04:00

This week's rescue is Reuben. He's a big lovable dog, and has already matured past his puppy years. He's okay with other dogs, but would be better with a dog whose play style fits his. He likes to lounge around a good bit and is very calm. Essentially, he's a big lap dog that would love to join you in your home!

Let's give him a forever home!!

***EDIT: GREAT NEWS!! REUBEN HAS FOUND A NEW HOME!!!!***

"What would it take to make you love me?" - villainous motivation

2009-03-31T15:22:00.007-04:00

I am shamelessly stealing an idea for this blog from a writer I admire. And even if I didn't (which I do), she stole from me first! (just kidding, Kathryn)

Anyway, over at the Kill Zone, the discussion sparked by Kathryn Lilley deals with truly evil villains and how to write them. And as several people point out in the comments, there's the old saying that the villain is the hero of his or her own journey.

That's great, but it isn't nuts-and-bolts enough for some people.

Which got me thinking about my own antagonists. I always approached the antagonist's motivation by asking myself, "what would it take to make me do this?"

As far as killing, that's easy. Mess with my family and you'll be looking over your shoulder the rest of your life, 'cause somehow some way, I'm coming for ya.

But that doesn't cover the REALLY bad guys. The ones who enjoy watching people suffer. I mean come on, I can't stand to watch an animal in pain without feeling for it...and I'm talking about a buzzard or an alligator, nevermind the cute ones like dogs and the occasional cat. So how do I get inside the head of a person who for example, finds sexual release in the death-throes of a human being, or the person who can only quiet their own inner demons by forcing someone else to scream until they choke on their own blood? Those people are sick, and I'm sorry, but I can't think of anything that could ever "make me do that."

So where do you go now, as a writer?

Well, I found something that makes sense to me, and has worked pretty well so far. Don't think about what it would take to make you do that, because a lot of the time the answer will be, "nothing on this earth."

Instead, think what might allow you to love that person.

Yep. What could possibly have happened to them, or what 'other side' of them could be there that could make you love that person, either in a spousal way or at least a familial, cousin-ish way?

Because that will make them human, and not JUST a monster. The characters who do the kinds of things I mentioned above are monsters, make no mistake. Justify it however they might, as much a hero as they may believe themselves, they are monsters. But what makes them human will make them conceivable and engaging in your fiction. I firmly believe that, pre-pubbed though I may be. And it has worked for me so far.

The example I gave at Kill Zone, and the best one I can think of here, is the backstory Thomas Harris gave for Francis Dollarhyde in RED DRAGON. When he, as an adult, sat down to pee 'like a good boy' because that's what his grandmother had taught him and because of the way she had tortured/treated him, it made sense. He was still a cruel moster, but he was also a human one.

Oh, and can you guess which of these is the one mentioned in the book, vs. which one is shown in the film?

One is the The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed in Sun, the other is The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed with the Sun.

I always wondered if Harris had switched them in his mind, if the copyeditor had put in the wrong title (because they are so ridiculously similar), or if the Hollywood people had gotten it mixed up.

So what about you guys? What examples do you have of reasons to love a character who is, in all other respects, a monster?

Rescue of the Week - Ella ADOPTED

2009-03-30T07:52:00.005-04:00

Sorry I missed a week, but we had the contest going on and I wanted it to stay at the top so everyone could see it as they came over.

That said, we need to get back to the business of finding forever homes for these pets. So, meet Ella.

Ella has been at the shelter for a few weeks now, and is absolutely adorable. She's an energetic puppy, but she is as sweet and loving as they come. Stop by and see if she's your kind of companion!

****EDIT: Ella has found a Forever Home!!****

AFRAID to write a Super Short

2009-03-18T23:20:00.010-04:00

J.A. Konrath writes the Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels mysteries, as well as a phenomenally helpful blog for aspiring writers. He has also dabbled in the horror field, and has published the horror novel AFRAID under the name Jack Kilborn. To promote AFRAID, Joe is doing an exhausting tour all across the world...via the internet. As part of his whirlwind blog tour, he is stopping by The Pen-ferno today with a little challenge. And so, here's Joe:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm currently blog touring, flogging the release of my new horror novel, AFRAID. It's being released on March 31, and I wrote it under the name Jack Kilborn. Please run out and buy fifteen copies.
During all of this guest blogging, I've written well over fifteen thousand words, and I'm close to running out.

So let's try a little writing experiment.Write an entire story in 20 words or less.

It's doable. Hemingway did it with his famous super short:
"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

Now, I'm not Hemingway. Which I'm happy about, because he's dead. But I admire his ability to tell an entire story in just a few words.

Here are two of mine:
"The adrenalin really kicked in when Carter realized he forgot to pack his chute."

And one for the Jack Kilborn crowd, with more of a horror slant."Is my hair okay? I can never tell. Is that why you won't invite me in for a bite?"

Now it's your turn. You have 20 words. Use them well.

Joe

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Joe and I will both choose a winner (he gets first pick, it being his challenge and such). The first prize winner will get a copy of AFRAID, signed by Joe himself. The second prize winner will get a copy of Joe's first Jack Daniels mystery, WHISKEY SOUR.

***EDIT: The deadline has passed.

The winners are jane, candid and lettera22.

You all did fantastic, and this was great fun! Thanks again to all for stopping by The Pen-ferno!

Rescue of the Week - Willa ADOPTED!

2009-03-13T08:35:00.006-04:00

Okay, so I let my wife pick this week's rescue. She initially chose a sweet, gorgeous mix puppy named Tyler. Well, let's be honest, she initially picked him and was trying to figure a way to convince me we had room and money for him. Then we got home later that day and found he'd been adopted that day.

So she chose her second favorite from this latest visit...Willa. Willa is sweet and wonderful, and will make someone very, very happy.

***EDIT: Willa has gone home!! I hope this one is forever!!***

"Good people...I missed my introduction!"

2009-03-08T22:13:00.005-04:00

We've all heard from agents, other writers, even readers: You have to grab their attention right off the bat. As Miss Snark used to be fond of saying, "Set someone's hair on fire."

Well, I'm going through my WIP, and I can't even get a spark. Not a cinder. Nothin'.

So, I'm looking for inspiration and thought some of you might like the same. I'm going back through those first few lines of some of my favorites (not the prologue, because several agents say those are cheats...so chapter 1 it is). Here are some I always liked, in no particular order:

1) "I've watched through his eyes, I've listened through his ears, and I tell you he's the one. Or at least as close as we're going to get."

"That's what you said about the brother."

--Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game

2) When Edward Carney said good-bye to his wife, Percey, he never thought it would be the last time he'd see her.

--Jeffery Deaver, The Coffin Dancer

3) The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

--Stephen King, The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger

4) The Bar at the Ritz-Carlton looks out on the Public Gardens and requires a tie. I've looked out on the Public Gardens from other vantage points before, without a tie, and never felt at a loss, but maybe the Ritz knows something I don't.

--Dennis Lehane, A Drink Before the War

5) Harry cut through the morning rush-hour crowd like a shark fin through water. I was following from twenty meters back on the opposite side of the street, sweating with everyone else in the unseasonable October Tokyo heat, and I couldn't help admiring how well the kid had learned what I'd taught him.

--Barry Eisler, Rain Fall

Okay, now it's your turn. Share some of your favorite intros, whether they are yours or someone else's. And don't forget to tell us where it's from...

y'know, in case it catches our attention, like it's supposed to...

Rescue of the Week - Smudge ADOPTED

2009-03-01T22:24:00.005-05:00

Well, being a dog lover and all, I think I've been neglecting those little buggers I'm allergic to. But they still deserve a new home, as many of them have had it just as rough. So if you are looking for an adorable little feline, here's a beautiful, shy girl named Smudge!

***EDIT: HOORAY!! SHE FOUND A NEW HOME!!!***

Writing Teachers

2009-02-28T13:54:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I've written about this once before, but I'll elaborate here.

Ever had a writing teacher who just turned you off to it completely? I did. Now I'll admit I had a part in the problem, but I had help too. What was my part? I quit. I let it get to me. Stupid and weak, I know. Would that I could take it back....

When I was in High School my senior year, I took a course I was really stoked about called "Writer's Studio". Figured I'd love it. I didn't, for a number of reasons, but the professor was one of them. My laziness another.

It seemed to me that the only people who had their writing praised were those who wrote slice-of-life, mainstream type stuff. I didn't write that because I was a metalhead outsider who didn't read it. I read Sci-fi and Horror, so that's what I wrote. You remember me, I was the kid with the long hair and ripped jeans buried in a Stephen King novel when I wasn't telling you to piss off.

So that's what I wrote. I wanted to be the next SK.

Don't we all.

My teacher told me it was crap. I don't mean she said it in a nicer way, I mean she said it was awful. All of it. And that I needed to focus on more realistic writing. I replied that I was trying to write stuff like Stephen King, and why was that a bad thing.

She said, "Well, when you have published as much as he has, call me. Otherwise I say that trash will never do."

Okay, that's not a direct quote, but it's damn close...especially the first part.

I was crushed. Seriously thought I'd never write a damn thing worth reading. Ever.

I wrote one thing from 1992 to 2003. That's freakin' 10 years I could have been working and improving, and I'll never get it back. Yeah, I quit. Know why?

Because I thought, having been effectively told so by a 'recognized authority', that nothing I ever wrote would rise above the level of the garbage in a land fill.

And you know what? The writing I did in that class was awful. All of it. The premise, the structure, it was lame. But you know what I've learned since I started going to school to be a teacher? We're supposed to TEACH. So what she could/should/here's-what-I-would've-done is freakin' TAUGHT me what was wrong and helped me improve.

I may never get anything but a few shorts published like the one coming out later this spring. But I know this much: Any of my students whose writing is absolutely terrible in their HIGH SCHOOL YEARS can count on me to be honest about what's wrong, show them how to identify it, and encourage them to keep at it and never give up. Oh, and I know that of any book I do get published, I'll have a free signed copy for the lady in question, if she has the guts to claim it in person.

So how about you, readers? Have anybody you're saving a *special* copy of your first published work for, or that you already gave away if you are a published author?

My Medias wouldn't go In Res today....

2009-02-23T22:27:00.004-05:00

Okay, so today I'm trying to help some of my Creative Fiction I students, many of whom are freshmen and just getting used to this 'we have to do work now?' thing called High School. Not many of them understand why they should be starting their stories with action and conflict instead of backstory. It was, unfortunately, quite useless to name from the ba-zillion novels that do it correctly, because not enough of my kids have read a great deal of fiction (popular or classic) yet. So I went with movies. No big deal, right? Gotta take them where they are and teach 'em up from there, right?

Only one problem.

I spaced.

Seriously. Me. The guy who posts movie quotes for all of my students to guess during the day. I wracked my brain for some good examples, and I came up with nothin'.

Squat.
Diddly.
Bubkus.
You get the picture.

So yeah, I copped out and asked them to volunteer some examples (those that got what I meant by In Medias Res, at least) and got a few good ones...the Bourne films, Bond films, the new one with Nick Cage (Bangkok Dangerous?).

But obviously, I need a much bigger list for next time, and certainly more of a genre variety. I am constantly chastised because I don't use enough quotes from "girl movies" (Better Off Dead counts, doesn't it?). So anyway, a number of acceptable "girl movies" that start in the middle of things would be massively helpful.

Whaddaya think, gang? Any ideas to help my poor burgeoning writers grow? Alex, I'm lookin' at you here (just kiddin')

Rescue of the Week - Tuffy ADOPTED

2009-02-20T08:04:00.005-05:00

Sorry this one's coming in late, had computer troubles this week.

My wife and I went by the SPCA adoption center earlier this week and met all the pups. Let me tell you, if you like a dog who LOVES to play and is full of life, this is your guy. Tuffy and one of the guys that work there were outside playing with the soccer ball. Tuffy decided he'd rather PICK UP one of the small plastic kiddie pools and fling it around like a frisbee. After the guy working there finished laughing (and filming it) he decided he'd play a joke on Tuffy and stand in the pool. He almost lost his balance when Tuffy muscled up and dragged him around in the pool. I mean it, this dog is a fun-loving goofball. At the same time, families with younger children or no backyard should probably take a pass. Tuffy is rambunctious and probably wouldn't do well without a lot of room to exercise and play.

EDIT: TUFFY HAS FINALLY FOUND A FOREVER HOME!!!!

Comfort, where do you draw the line?

2009-02-13T14:55:00.002-05:00

I know a lot of authors say they can write under some pretty extreme circumstances. Riding while the spouse drives, cramped up on a little hotel bed with the laptop or a pad and pen, circling Chicago on the El. I can write under some pretty rough circumstances if I feel the urge.

But not heat.

It's like going to sleep at night. I can be freezing and find a way to get to sleep, and I can write fairly well when I'm cold.

But heat? Not a chance.

See, all week in North Carolina we've had weather that's very spring-esque. That's great, except that our A/C at school hasn't been tripped. So instead, we get the heat running during the day. It's like 85 degrees in my classroom right now.

I can teach in that hot, humid level of sheer suckitude.

But I can't write. And it pisses me off, because my computer at home (where I would be editing) got all virused up, and I can't do anything at school because I'm pissed and miserable.

So what is the threshold for you? What is that one thing, that last straw that says, "nope, can't get it going because ________________"?

Rescue of the Week - Mike ADOPTED

2009-02-10T14:57:00.005-05:00

This week, we have an older fella who needs a good home. Typically, Dogs who undergo treatment for heartworms (either because they were out in the wild before, or because someone didn't do a good job keeping their heartworm treatment current) are a little calmer, but also less likely to live to the very far end of their age spectrum. So at seven years old, this handsome guy named Mike is likely to be a loving, loyal, ccalm companion for someone who just likes to relax and take their friend for a walk, or share a spot on the sofa. Please consider giving this good boy a home. The Wake SPCA will contribute up to $250 for his heartworm treatment.

****EDIT: YAY!! Mike has been Adopted!!!!!****

You keep a-using that word...I do not think it means what you think it means...

2009-02-05T20:36:00.006-05:00

Okay, so there is apparently something in the transatlantic water today. Zoe Sharp over at Murderati is blogging about getting some of the minor details correct (and we crime writers can have some interesting details we need to discover). Thing is, I was reading a book not half an hour after I first saw that post that had a very tiny little detail wrong. It is so inconsequential that it almost didn't even need to be there, but it had that niggling effect that shot the writer's cred on this one teensy issue.

Thing is, I happen to respect this writer a hell of a lot, and I really don't know if someone at the publisher changed it, or if the writer just got confuzzed for a minute. And I genuinely want to avoid being *that guy*.

You know the one. The guy who neener-neeners because he found an infinitesimal little error and wants to try the patience of someone genuinely more talented, because he knows that's the closest he could ever get to a published work.

THAT guy.

I'm not that guy. I don't ever want to be that guy. I genuinely want to be helpful, especially since I have such a high opinion of this writer and I kinda want to thank him/her for such a great read (don't worry Zoe, I brought you up because of your post only...it isn't your book).

So, is there a really nice, helpful way to broach this subject in an email or letter, or should I just keep my big mouth shut and mind my own business?

Rescue of the Week

2009-02-03T07:37:00.004-05:00

The Wake SPCA has a gorgeous dalmation mix. His name's Oreo, and he is a very family- and other-pet-friendly dog. He's about 18 months old.

****EDIT: GREAT NEWS!! OREO'S BEEN ADOPTED!!!****

Hi, I used to be pseudonym, but you can call me....

2009-01-30T10:44:00.003-05:00

I know this business is tough, but I always like to ask weird questions (it's okay, I know they're weird). There are so many writers out there giving fabulous advice--that I'm in no position to give--that I like to think in terms of what a reader or a pre-published writer might wonder about. This is especially true if it's something where I don't see much written about it elsewhere.

I have read/heard from several authors that, if their first work is promising but doesn't do well, a writer might be asked to change their name (adopt a pseudonym) if they are to try again. Now that could really suck if you used your own name the first time, and it might make a book tour awkward if someone bought your first book and knew it was you. Then again, if your first book didn't go well, probably didn't have many people stopping in on that book tour anyway, eh?

So yeah, I get where that can be awkward, even though you might be thankful just to get a second shot. But what if you had planned a series? Would that not completely suck?

See, we all have those moments of self-doubt. Even well-known bestsellers will tell you they have times where they feel likethey'll never have another good idea, or premise, or lead character again in their lives.

How much more pressure would there be, knowing your first one to actually get published, flops...and now you have to be someone new, and create someone new, because the character you had living in your head for so long wasn't dynamic enough in the marketplace?

Yeah, I know it's kind of a fringe thing to worry about, but every now and then when I'm editing or plotting my next book, a weird thought like this one pops in my head and takes up residence. What can I say?

A Hurried, but New, Beginning

2009-01-27T10:33:00.004-05:00

I find myself in an interesting position. Due to the snows, today was the last day of exams for the first semester. Tomorrow is the first day of the second semester. I'm also in the editing-the-first-and-fleshing-out-the-premise-for-the-second manuscript stage. Big goings-on, I tell ya. So yeah, we teachers are all a little freaked out because we have no break at all between the two, and I'm even more freaked out with my manuscripts, even though I have no real deadline for them. I just never wanted to be the "I spent five years writing this!" guy.

I imagine that freaked-out feeling must be what it's like when you have book deadlines, on top of editing deadlines, along with putting together a premise for the next book (series or no). Sounds pretty harrowing.

I'd still take it in a heartbeat, but that's not what has me concerned.

How will I handle it when I have those deadlines AND school?

See, here's the thing: most writers I know of, who are the primary family breadwinners, still have their day job. It's widely known that only a precious few have the sales to live on their writing alone. That said, you've got to burn a hell of a lot of midnight oil to essentially work two full-time careers like that.

I worry about whether or not I'll be able to cope, because it's not a matter of choosing what to sacrifice at night when you have stuff to grade. My writing can go at my own pace NOW, because I'm writing to land that first agent/editor/book deal. But once those wheels get rolling, I will still have papers to grade. I am completely in awe of authors who make that work, because I have no idea how I'll do it.

Don't get me wrong, I AM going to find out. I'm just wondering/worrying what it'll be like when I do.

So my question is this:
To published authors - Man, how do you guys and gals do it? (honest answers or pithy comments welcome...Shelby, Getze, I'm looking at you two here...)

To pre-published writers - Am I alone in this, or does anyone else worry about the same thing?

Rescue of the Week

2009-01-23T08:12:00.005-05:00

Well, we've got another cutie that needs a new home. Andi is a chocolate and white American Staff mix, and is full of energy at a little under 2 years old. She also is a little finnicky about pet friends, and would need to be in an Andi-only family (she wants all of your time to herself).

****EDIT: Andi has found her new home!!!****

Loyalty

2009-01-16T07:15:00.004-05:00

Yes this blog is geared primarily toward writing and publishing, but I wanted to address something that is really bothering me in these tough economic times: Undeserved loyalty. I have seen too many people I know, in person or online, have to deal with bean counters and piss-poor executives, and I've about had my fill.

Hypothetical...see if this sounds like a situation someone you know has had to go through:
Person A has been working somewhere for a number of years. New management comes in a few years later, and Person A hits it off with the new supreme commissar...er, the new company manager. Much of the workforce, in fact, feels that the new boss has a great management style. Not a micro manager, she/he claims to trusts employees and to see who really works hard, and who is just cashing a paycheck.

Many of the workers, like Person A, work hard for the new com--I mean, manager. They feel a sense of loyalty to her/him. They follow the new rules (even the ones they disagree with and grouse about a bit) to the letter. They stick up for and defend the manager when others poor mouth her/him behind her/his back. Person A is EXTREMELY diligent, moreso than many of Person A's colleagues, in following every rule to the best of Person A's ability.

Flash forward to now, a couple years later. In these rough economic times, is Person A rewarded, or at least spared the trouble that comes others' way?

Not a chance. Why? Because Comrade Manager never really saw anything.

See, Person A thought she/he was doing something over-and-above to improve the standing of the company. Many of Person A's veteran colleagues felt Person A showed outstanding initiative. Unfortunately, some of the consumers of the company's product didn't approve. Supreme Commissar doesn't like when consumers (even one, as in this hypothetical) are unhappy. Nevermind that Comrade Manager has numerous employees who are terrible at their jobs, but good at hiding their shortcomings from her/him. Do those lazy bas--uh, other workers have to deal with any retribution for their shortcomings?

Nope.

Instead, Comrade Manager and Person A have a misunderstanding. Person A is later made to feel incompetent and disloyal, because no one gets the benefit of the doubt with the Supreme Commissar. Person A now feels the weight of the hanging axe above her/his proverbial neck, and it has been made clear, "BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU." Perhaps they've even lost their job, like a few people I know of.

This reminds me specifically of people who kick their dogs. Dogs are loyal, period. When an owner kicks a dog, shows malice and cruelty to a creature that did nothing but try as best it could to do everything to make that owner happy, that owner deserves to be doused in gas and set ablaze.

So too with the smug little Napoleons that insulate themselves, even as you read this, while swinging that iron fist from the comfort of an impenetrable office where they know no fear of retribution. Why is it that, especially in tough economic times, the people who deserve most to be praised and sheltered end up getting hurt the most? Does crap really float to the top? Are we just blind to it until it's too late?

I'm sick and tired of seeing people I know and care about, like many of you out there, get stepped on by people who wouldn't know loyalty if it curled up at their feet and gazed adoringly up at them. Those people don't deserve loyalty. They deserve to be dragged in front of their families and humiliated, the way the people they hurt constantly are. Then they deserve to be thrown in the street and shot.

Twice.

Well, I may be nobody (trust me, if you're not one of these managers, they probably see you that way too), but I would at least like to give comfort to those who have had to get raked over the coals or put out of work by these useless empty lying suits. Whoever you are out there, know that I'm praying for you.

And if you know someone who has had to go through this, feel free to send them a good word, here or on your own. Better yet, send them a good word and a gun, and let Big Brother know we can find out where she/he lives. (grin)

Rescue of the Week

2009-01-14T16:32:00.004-05:00

HeyGang! Sorry I was gone so long. The holidays were followed by the last week or two of the semester, and now it's time for exams. So yeah, I'm swamped. Still, life is great for me compared to all the little homeless critters out there, so I wanted to draw your attention to another sweet pup that needs a good home. She's ASTRID:

***EDIT: HOORAY!! ASTRID HAS FOUND A FOREVER HOME!!!***

"So what's the answer?"

2008-12-17T11:36:00.005-05:00

Over on Jack Getze's blog, his main character Austin Carr is debating POV, and the discussion leaned toward the magic-bullet combination that makes a reader forgive the problems a story may have.

Is it Story?

Is it Craft?

Is it Voice?

Or is it D) some variegated combination of all the above, plus more? Now granted, an agent can come and tell us what makes them offer representation, and I'd welcome it. [I'd welcome the offer too, but anyway (grin) ]

I want to know what does it for readers (writers also read, so you guys chime in too). If you're reading a book where the craft is lacking, or the story drags, or the voice is dry, what keeps you in it? What captures you?

I know any one of these things can make you want to toss the book through a wall if it's REALLY poorly done, but what has to be done well enough to help you gloss over the gaffes?

Rescue of the Week

2008-12-17T11:35:00.009-05:00

Going back to the cats this week. I know, I know, but the kitties need homes too. And for someone who isn't home a lot, or doesn't have a nice yard for a dog, a cat who will stay indoors all the time can be a great buddy. I especially love the coloring on this calico.

She is described as being perfect for someone who works during the day but can spend time with her at night. Sounds like a great companion who can take care of herself while you're away at work and then be ready to pick up your spirits when you get home.

***EDIT: GREAT NEWS!! MITZI HAS BEEN ADOPTED!!!***

"Doc, I'll get enough sleep when I'm dead."

2008-12-12T11:32:00.004-05:00

I've been told by several authors that one of the greatest compliments you can give them is to let them know their book cost you a night of sleep. Think about how much that must mean to them. The story and characters were so engaging that you literally couldn't put the book down.

Lately I've had a couple of those. I let Zoe Sharp know that her FIRST DROP had me dragging the next day. I emailed Michelle Gagnon to let her know my students could tell I hadn't slept a week because of BONEYARD. Though I haven't told him yet, Brett Battles owes my in-laws an apology, because I was a weary, miserable jackass for a wedding we attended because of THE CLEANER.

And Marcus Sakey? Yeah, my students would like to know why my handwriting is so tough to read on the work I gave back last week. I'm sending all of their complaints to you buddy. (If any of you haven't read THE BLADE ITSELF, you need to. Today. Now if possible.)

I can only hope my stories will one day do the same (and I'll gleefully apologize to anyone who has such a "complaint" about any of them).

So spill it. What books have cost you a night of repose? Which authors had you looking for an injection of adrenaline the next day to keep you awake at the wheel?

And, did you contact them to tell them? If not, you might want to think about that. It's been my experience that authors are very friendly and really cool when they find out their book was too good for you to put down. And why wouldn't you want to spread good feelings like that around?

Rescue of the Week

2008-12-09T15:25:00.009-05:00

In case you haven't seen, I have really great news. I don't know if this blog has had even a remote effect on the situation, but so far every one of the rescues showcased here has been adopted. I haven't been able to find out for sure if Brutus and Buttercup went home together, but they were adopted the same weekend, so I think so. If one of these great pups or kitties is now yours, please drop a line in the comments to let me know how things are going.

And with that said, let's introduce the newest Rescue of the Week!

Cassius is not actually at the Wake SPCA, he's "away at summer camp" for the time being. He's a big fellah at about 80 lbs., so it would be better if you have a good-sized yard and are comfortable with larger breeds.

****EDIT: CASSIUS has been adopted!!!****

"What, are we havin' a contest or somethin'?"

2008-12-08T18:17:00.003-05:00

Over at Nathan Bransford's blog, there is indeed a contest taking place. Out of the goodness of his heart (or the madness in his head), writers can enter their first paragraph in the hopes that he will read it, like it, put it into the finals, and allow it to win the writer a tiny but ridiculously valuable piece of Mr. Bransford's time. If you are a writer, and you don't at least try this, there is something wrong with you. Then again, if you don't try this, I stand a better chance. Still, I'd rather go up against the best and win, so click the link and turn something in!

"Kids these days...."

2008-12-03T07:32:00.003-05:00

Okay, so the other day I started my lesson working through some of HAMLET, and I discovered that most of them hadn't read the previous night. Okay, it's HAMLET, even for academic level Seniors, it can be difficult. The problem is that some of them hadn't been reading their assignments on a semi-regular basis. So I asked why.

Because they don't read at all, some said. And a few even said they don't see the point, because they don't plan to go to college, so why bother?

And yet they watch movies all the time because they "love a really good story."

Ugh. This drives me nuts, and I doubt I'm alone in this. They want a story, but according to many of them, they like the blockbusters where they don't have to actually think. Now understand, this isn't all of my students. Not even a majority. But it was enough that it concerned me.

Many hadn't read a book for pleasure (rather than for school) in over a year. And in quite a few cases, I had to discuss what movies they liked to figure out the kind of story they might find interesting. Wanna know why? Because when I asked, many of them said they would have no idea where to start in a bookstore to find the kind of books they might like.

Let me repeat that. They had no idea what GENRE they might like, and where to find it in bookstores. So I did what I could to help, but I wanted to open this up to you guys to give me more suggestions. As far as movies, they named everything, including sci-fi, fantasy, thriller, historical fiction, romance, mystery, military, etc.

So if you were to recommend books/authors in any of those genres to a high school senior who desperately needs to read something interesting (to get them back into it), what or who would it be? Any suggestions welcome, give 'em your best shot!!

Rescue of the Week

2008-12-01T16:59:00.011-05:00

Meet Kip - A sweet tri-colored beagle who can sure use a nice, warm forever-home for the Christmas season. Instead of a new puppy, consider taking a wonderful, loving adult dog like this who will require less maintenance (potty training and the like) and still give unconditional love for hours at a time.

****EDIT: WONDERFUL NEWS! KIP HAS FOUND A NEW HOME!!!****

"The very best time of year!"

2008-11-25T12:00:00.006-05:00

One of my favorite things about the holidays is the time. I do my best to get whatever grading I plan to do over the break, and finish it before I go. That leaves me time to do two things: Read, and Write. I plan to spend most of the free time I have over this break doing both of those things.

I've taken a sufficient enough amount of time away, and am now ready to tackle those revisions for my WIP. At the same time, I have some reading to catch up on. Marcus Sakey's THE BLADE ITSELF, Alexandra Sokoloff's THE HARROWING, Jeffery Deaver's THE BODIES LEFT BEHIND, Lori G. Armstrong's HALLOWED GROUND, and Jason Pinter's THE MARK are sitting atop my TBR pile.

And I await Christmas time (and J.D. Rhoades, and Sean Chercover, and Toni McGee Causey, and Louise Ure, and Robert Crais, and Laura Lippman, and....) for the same reason, as I will be asking almost exclusively for books this year. Hey, any small boost I can give to the publishing biz, I plan to.

So, what are you planning to read over the break, and is your writing getting some time on the docket as well?

Rescue of the Week

2008-11-25T10:31:00.005-05:00

As I said, I'm a dog person, because I'm allergic to cats, but it's a lot of fun just to watch them all lounging or playing in the room together, and this guy is young and full of energy. He'll need lots of care and supervision if you want to make sure your home isn't destroyed, because he isn't old enough to know what's okay and what isn't yet. Still, he'll be a lot of fun to play with, and I sure hope you'll love him and give him a good home! He's K-PAC!

*****EDIT*****: WONDERFUL NEWS!!! K-PAC has been adopted!!

Wolfpack whips Heels in Chapel Hill

2008-11-22T23:59:00.003-05:00

Okay, I'm well aware that this has nothing to do with writing or rescued pets. I can't help it. This was a very good day to be an N.C. State Wolfpack fan, and I'm flat out enjoying every moment of it that I can.

41-10!!

Rescue of the Week

2008-11-18T11:25:00.004-05:00

This lovely young lady has been named NEIA by the wonderful folks at the Wake County SPCA Adoption Center. She is cute as can be, and the perfect "medium dog" size at around 45 lbs. or so.

*****EDIT*****: WONDERFUL NEWS!! Neia has been adopted!!!

Please, if you're looking for a forever friend and you DON'T live in Wake County, please consider adopting a shelter pet before you go and buy an animal. I don't know how, but shelter pets KNOW they've been rescued. I'm convinced of it. And because of this, they are the most loving and loyal animals you'll ever find. Just think about it...

"And I, I want to thank you..."

2008-11-14T16:27:00.004-05:00

Last night was very cool for me. I met one of all-time favorite authors last year; a man whose work I hope mine might one day be compared favorably (it ain't there yet, I know that for sure). For those who don't know of Jeffery Deaver, you are missing out. Go out and read one of his books. NOW. I'll wait.

Back? Okay, good.

So anyway, I met him at the Barnes & Noble in Chapel Hill while he was on book tour for THE SLEEPING DOLL. I told him how encouraging it was to have read THE EMPTY CHAIR, because it told me people would buy thrillers based in North Carolina, which is what I hoped to write. He gave me some encouraging words and signed my copy of his book. I went home happy and, of course, loved the new book immensely. I also went to see Michael Connelly a few days later, another great writer to whom I would love to someday be compared, and he gave me encouragement and a metaphor for writing that I'll never forget. Both were great experiences for me personally.

Flash forward to last night. Mr. Deaver's on book tour again, this time for THE BODIES LEFT BEHIND, and I went to get his latest and have him sign it (this time the Raleigh B&N, btw). And he recognized me.

Let me say that again: A NYT Bestseller I met and spoke to for less than five minutes recognized me a year later.

Now, let's be honest here. I said it was nice to see him again, and when he said, "I thought I recognized you," I sorta filled in the gaps (eager dork that I am). So he could have been playing it off just to be nice.

Doesn't matter. That was still a very cool thing for him to do, and I will always remember it. He congratulated me on the story (yep, I told him. couldn't help it). It was just a great experience.

Which brings me to my point, if you couldn't figure it out. I'm not asking a question today, I'm just giving you guys an opportunity. I am routinely amazed and humbled by how open and friendly and helpful and encouraging the Mystery Communmity is to its readers (aspiring writer or no). And that goes for the mid-list authors and the big name bestseller alike. They are all even more gracious and giving than you could ever imagine.

So, this post, and the comments section, is for anyone who'd like to to say thanks...be it readers to writers or writers to readers. Mystery Community Group Hug, I s'pose.

New Weekly Feature!!

2008-11-10T10:49:00.008-05:00

Okay, while I want this blog to bring readers and other writers together, I also want it to do some other good. You may (or may not) have noticed that there is a distinctly non-writer link on the blog-roll to the left. It's for the Wake County SPCA.

My wife and I are HUGE believers in rescue pets. Both of our girls were rescues, one from the Harnett County shelter, and the other from the Wake SPCA.

I admit, I'm a dog lover, and I'm allergic to cats. Cats seem to know this, and seek me out whenever they can to nuzzle me and make me sneeze and get whelts and such. Still, I am an animal lover in general, so I will try to help the kitties out too.

Here's what I'm going to do:

We go by the shelter now and again, and play with the puppies and dogs for a little bit, because the dogs seem to like the attention. But we can't afford another one, so we always have to leave them (and we're heartbroken every time, trust me).

So, I'm going to post one lovable, tender, you-can't-possibly-ignore-this-face rescue pet each week, in the hopes that I can help people find that friend they may not even know they need. It's so much more humane than buying a puppy because they are already spayed or neutered and have already experienced being abandoned in some way. Giving them a loving home is one of the greatest things you can do for these wonderful and loving guys and gals.

So without further ado, this week's Rescue Pet of the Week is a two-fer:

For more information about Buttercup, call:SPCA of Wake County at (919) 772-2326 Ask for information about animal ID number A034646

At the shleter they have named her Buttercup. She is adorable! Her Buddy, Brutus, is also sweet as can be. They have a real bond, and would do better going home together. Here's Brutus:

For more information about Brutus, call:SPCA of Wake County at (919) 772-2326 Ask for information about animal ID number A035850

I don't care who you are, you spend some time in a room with those two lovable (and gentle) giants, your heart will melt.

"Another [Great] one gone...."

2008-11-07T11:23:00.004-05:00

I'm posting twice today (okay, this week) because I didn't get around to yesterday, and this is one that needs to be said.

I've never met Michael Crichton. And I'm really, really going to miss him.

I can still remember lying in bed in Avery Dorm at Lees-McRae College with this new book, AIRFRAME, thinking, "I'll read for an hour or so, then go to bed...early class tomorrow."

Noon the next day, I finished it and went, "WOW." I mean, the building of airplanes? Seriously, the man can make the politics behind the building of airplanes so entertaining that I physically can't put the book down???

Yep. And now he's gone.

I read over in the comments section of The Kill Zone that Mr. Joe Moore believed the things in JURASSIC PARK were possible after reading the book. I'm here to tell you, Mr. Crichton has me convinced, thoroughly, that Global Warming is never going to be the issue Gore makes it out to be, simply because of STATE OF FEAR.

Yes, he's that good a writer. Don't believe me? Fine.

Read it. You'll see. Farewell Mr. Crichton, Ms. Flinn, and Mr. Hillerman. The mystery community is hurting from the recent loss of you three, but we will miss you and all of your unrealized/gone-too-soon works most of all. God Bless.

"Do you remember that day?"

2008-11-07T10:56:00.004-05:00

Stephen King once gave a lecture on writing, and someone was nice enough to put it up on Youtube for the rest of us. I watched a portion of it the other night, and he said something that stuck with me. I'm paraphrasing, but it was something to the effect of, "We all remember that first time, when we were reading something that had been published, and we went, 'Wow. That is truly awful...I can do better than that!'"

You know why that stuck with me? Because I can remember exactly where I was, and what I was reading. I had just finished two books I really liked, THE TWELFTH CARD and DECEPTION POINT. And then I read this third one, which I won't name, by a different author, who I won't name, and I thought, "Geez, this is from a NYT Bestseller? Hell, I can do better than that."

I know how arrogant that sounds. And I'm also smart enough to realize that I just finished my first novel while this writer is still hitting that NYT list consistently. Doesn't matter. I still think I can do better (although I've now realized that I couldn't do better my first time around...I think it's good, but I can do better than it, too).

So I guess my question to all of you is this:

1) If you're a writer, did you ever have that moment? I don't want you to name the book or author, but can you remember which specific book you were reading that made you say ,"Yep, I can do better"?

2) If you're a reader, have you ever hit one by a NYT Bestseller and thought, "Man, they mailed it in on that one"? Have you, even if you never intend to write anything, ever read a published novel from a respected and/or famous author and figured you could do better than that effort?

PS - Yes, I'm well aware that I am as yet unpublished, that someone will read this, then see my first published short story in Spinetingler and think, "Pfft, I could do better than that." And should I ever get a book deal, there will be aspiring writers out there who read it and think the same thing. I won't be upset or embarrassed. I'll just be excited to read what they have to write, because my thinking that is what finally got me to do it, and frankly I just think the world needs more good books.

"I dunno man. That sounds like...a lotta work!"

2008-11-01T10:02:00.006-04:00

NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month. Every year, from November 1st to November 30th, people across the country will sit down and endeavor to write 50,000 word novels in one month. It's a phenomenal feat, because you have to write every day. All across the blogosphere over the next few days, you will read of people challenging one another, encouraging one another, cheering for one another.

I think it's great. I'm not doing it.

Please understand, I'm not taking some weird stand against NaNoWriMo. I really do think it's great, and I really would love to do it. But I'm not. I just finished my first draft of my first novel (you know, the one I think is great that agents will probably tell me was good training for future writings). I'm letting it breathe before going back and attacking the revision process. Perfect time to get started on the second in NaNoWriMo, yeah?

Nope.

And here's why: 50,000 words and a complete storyline requires two things...AIC and the ability to fly by the seat of your pants.

AIC (ass in chair) I can do. "Pantsing" I can't.

I am a plotter through and through, and I just can't do the pants thing. I think those of you that can are far more creative than I. The sheer emotional stability to hang on breakneck as you trail yur protagonist, weeping as the sorrowful times hit, elated as your heores succeed, and all of this while cataloguing what happens to someone only you know and love. I can't do it. I'm too emotionally invested. I gotta know what happens, and when. If I don't, I'm all to pieces with concern, or guilt, or something.

As I said, you'll see lots of posts where people are encouraging each other to do NaNoWriMo. This isn't one of those. This is to console those of you who look at it and say, "Man, I really want to, but I don't think I can do it this time around."

HOWEVER...I've given you my reason (and it's not, "But I don't WANNA!!!"). If you aren't doing NaNoWriMo, tell me why. Those of you who are doing it are also more than welcome, btw. Tell us why you love it, and maybe it'll spark some of the I-can'ts to become I-wills.

"You know what they have now? Devil's Night greeting cards..."

2008-10-31T11:15:00.005-04:00

I used to love Halloween. I mean I loved it like there was no other holiday. Every year I looked forward to what I would be. It was ridiculous the fervor with which I anticipated this holiday. And my reasoning was not a good one. See, most kids like All Hallows Eve because of the candy, or the trick-or-treating, or to see what cool costume they can wear.

Not me. I looked forward to Halloween because finally, for one day out of the year, I didn't have to be me.

Kinda pathetic, huh?

Even as a kid, I was such a useless, sappy little loser that I literally hated being me. A white, middle-class kid with a loving home, two sets of parents who loved me, and a pretty solid upbringing, and I thought I was such a waste because no one outside my family saw me as special. As better than everyone else in SOME way, like the jocks were at sports, and the super smart kids were in class, and the good-looking, smooth-talkers were with the girls (yep, even in middle school we had smooth-talkers).

I was ordinary. And I hated being ordinary.

I was so upset one Halloween in High School because I couldn't find the costume I wanted (that wasn't the only thing wrong, by a long shot), that I wound up spending about a month in a psychiatric ward for teens. All because I missed my chance to be special for a day.

Don't worry, I can now look back and see what a moron I was. Promise. But I bring this up for two reasons.
1) The obvious...it's Halloween and people everywhere are talking about what a fun day it is. But I'm a cynic, so I don't do shiny and happy. Shiny and Happy are not exactly noir, now are they?

2) I see, every day, the same white upper-middle-class kids bemoaning their lives because the world won't function according to what they see as right, or appropriate. Won't think THEIR way is special. And more and more, I see people in the world taking these kids' side because those kids could be damaged.

Get a grip.

There are too many things all around this globe that are so much worse than what these kids deal with every day, and yet they can't get past their own perceptions and walk in someone else's shoes for a bit. If they could, there might be less whining and drama, and more hard work and production and appreciation for life going on.

So this is my PSA for the day, soapbox and all. If your son or daughter is in the same weepy, narcissistic-but-self-loathing state I was, then sit them down and help them find a little perspective.

And if you are one of these kids who sees yourself at the center of all that the world is sending crashing down on your head?
Take a deep breath, a look in the mirror, and make YOURSELF special. Stop waiting for the world to find you. Put yourself out and there and say, "Dammit, I'm special." Then, when the world ignores, laughs at, or degrades you for doing so...keep working to make yourself special. Keep doing it until that one day when someone you're not related to says, "Hey! You're right!"

And that'll just be the start. Sorta like writing and publication, huh?
Happy Halloween, everybody.

"Where have you gone...?"

2008-10-27T15:03:00.004-04:00

The mystery community has lost a great man. Tony Hillerman died yesterday at the age of 83. If you've never read a Hillerman novel, they are unlike any other in the wonderful depiction of modern New Mexico, Utah, and the colorful characters so easy to get to know and cherish.

I haven't read a lot of Hillerman, because like a fool I always figured, "Ah, I'll get around to it", just knowing there was always at least the chance there might be more. Now that can never be, and we are all the worse for it. A terrific mystery writer, gone.

God bless and God speed, Mr. Hillerman.

"Where the Hell did that come from?"

2008-10-23T10:42:00.008-04:00

All writers (yep, even the unpublished ones) get asked--when it's discovered they are a writer--the same question: "So, like, where do you get your ideas from?" The answer is always a variation (sometimes nice, sometimes smartassed) of the same word:
Everywhere.

Still, as a reader I think people are maybe looking for something more specific. Stephen King once wrote about the "What If?" questions he comes up with, and the books are his answers. I think he talked about it in ON WRITING, but I'm not positive. Anyway, I'm betting that that's closer to what readers are actually asking about--and any readers out there can feel free to correct me in the comments if they disagree.

So I figured this might be a good chance to get people talking specifically about individual stories and books, and from whence the ideas for them came. A good example would be Michael Connelly's THE OVERLOOK. When he was in Greensboro on tour for it, he said that a story he'd been told about radioactive material in North Carolina being stolen had led him to Bosch's next case, and if you've read THE OVERLOOK you see where that wound up.

If you haven't, do it. Now. No seriously, like walk out of your job and go buy the book.

Okay, not really. Wait til after work.

Anyway...I guess I'll start, it being my blog and all that good stuff. My book started with an idea for a villain, a guy who wanted to deflect suspicion from what he was really doing by taking advantage of the recent fears about religious extremism. I thought, "what better way to cover your tracks than to play on what EVERYONE seems afraid of these days. And after the worldwide lunacy over Salman Rushdie, and later Dan Brown, I figured why not create a writer who ALSO likes to play on those emotions (unlike these two, who I've never met, my writer is an unsympathetic jerk about it). This creates conflict for the reader, because he or she is unsure if:
A) the writer is the villain
B) they're okay with him being the villain
C) the writer is the next victim, and
D) they want him saved if he is

I love it when authors twist me up in moral knots like that, so I figured there had to be some readers who loved things like that which made them think beyond the work itself. If I'm wrong, well I guess it'll have to be the next book that starts my career rolling.
Or the one after that, or the one after that, or....

So tell me, if you're a reader, what do you REALLY mean when you ask where ideas come from? And if you're an author, can you pinpoint anything more specific regarding the idea or the original impetus for writing any particular novel or story?

"But where should I put you?"

2008-10-17T20:05:00.006-04:00

Well, I still haven't come down from the high of finding out I would have a short story published for the first time. That said, my novel is still a WIP, and I have no idea if it will be the one to break through, or if that'll be my next (or the one after, or the one after, or...). So I am really asking this next question moreso than answering it:

Where does a mystery writer want his or her books shelved?

I know the smartass answer, but I'm being serious. Last week I went into B&N and picked up a DVD. I was hoping to get one for my wife to use in her class, but it hadn't come in yet. Anyway, while I was there I had a few minutes to kill so I thought I'd check the shelves for some of the writers I'd like to eventually mimic. I looked primarily for members of the Murderati, along with some other up-and-comers, and I found something interesting...

They were in a couple of different locations. Some were exclusively in the NEW FICTION section, some were with mystery, and some were with general fiction.

This got me to thinking, "where is it better to be shelved?"

My first thought would be mystery, because a mystery-lover would expect to find a mystery- (and even a thriller-) writer there. But Now I'm not so sure. Because names like JT Ellison and Brett Battles were in general fiction, along with the likes of Jeffery Deaver and Michael Connelly. Now I'm well aware that Mr. Battles's books could be considered thrillers, but Ms. Ellison's seem like mysteries to me, as do most of Mr. Deaver's and Mr. Connelly's.

So does being housed in General Fiction mean you've "really made it"???

I can't imagine that's true, because Sue Grafton definitely has, and she and Janet Evanovich both have sweeping sections on the MYSTERY shelf.

So published authors, I'm honestly asking here:

Where would you rather be placed (other than front and center with a placard that says, "BUY ME!" like J.A. Konrath's latest book trailer)?

The dangers of a technologically deficient teacher with an email account

2008-10-15T12:12:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I don't like to bash a colleague if I can help it, but this is getting ridiculous.

On Monday, I opened an email from someone advertising something for elementary students. I teach High School. I checked, and the original sender had clearly made a mistake. She had emailed EVERY school in the county, not just the elementary schools. Not the brightest thing, but a simple mistake, no big deal. I deleted it and moved on.

Shortly thereafter I got several emails in succession. They were all replies, but I got them because the first person had hit "REPLY TO ALL", left the subject line the same, and wrote "please remove me from this list." They thought it was some random junk email. No big deal, but they clicked Reply to All. Again, it's a mistake, but a costly one. I have since gotten CLOSE TO A HUNDRED EMAILS asking me (and everyone else on this list) to also please remove them from the list, it's three days later, and we're still getting them!!!

People, are you serious? We have to work so hard to combat the ridiculous stereotype that those who can't do, teach. Do you really not get why this is wrong? I'd wager every one of your students, failing or passing, repeating or otherwise, would have handled the situation better than those of you who are STILL doing this.

Ugh.

Originally posted October 13, 2008: Mystery, Thriller, Suspense, some variation of all three???

2008-10-15T12:07:00.003-04:00

I've recently seen a lot of different people blogging about genre. For me, this focuses on mystery/suspense/thriller. The other day, Nathan Bransford blogged about his definition of each, and it got me thinking...what would my current WIP be?

See, based on Mr. Bransford's definitions, my work would kind of cover two of the three. It's got action (has to, or it would put me to sleep, and I'm writing it!).

It also has more than one mystery. So is it a mystery, or a thriller?

Well, what would you call some of Patterson's early Alex Cross works?

What about Jeffery Deaver's stuff, like Garden of Beasts or The Sleeping Doll?

How about Crais's The Watchmen, or Zoe Sharp's Charlie Fox novels, or Brett Battles's Quinn novels, or fellow North Carolinian J.D. Rhoades's Jack Keller series?

Yes, I realize it's incredibly egotistical to bring up these names in conjunction with my own unpublished stuff, but these are the people I idolize. I think you have to look at your work and try to see it next to the top caliber authors out there. So you know what? I would call most all of these mystery/thrillers. And that's my WIP as well (unless/until an agent tells me otherwise, that is).

What about you? Does your work cross more than one genre or subgenre? Have a romantic suspense, or a mystery/sci-fi?

Originally posted Oct. 7, 2008: CELEBRATION TIME, BABY!!!

2008-10-15T11:56:00.005-04:00

Today the sun is shining just a little bit brighter. The air smells a little bit sweeter. And I feel a little taller...5'9" here I come!!

Why?Because I got an email last night from Spinetingler Magazine. Apparently the guest editor (Jack Getze, and a HUGE thank you to you, sir!) -- who is now a permanent editor, I've been informed -- read my submission and liked it. He wants it for the Winter 2009 edition of the magazine. For those of you unfamiliar with Spinetingler, it's a suspense fiction magazine where some pretty darn good writers have logged early tales. Names like Bill Cameron, J.D. Rhoades, and J.T. Ellison. And they're giving me a shot.

WOW!!!

Okay, okay, sorry. I just had to get a little excitement out there. It's just such a relief when someone who's never met you essentially says, "yep, you can do this." My wish for every single person who reads this is to find that same sense of encouragement and support in their chosen profession.

Have a great day, and may the sun shine a little brighter for you!!Oh, for a look at the other side of the coin, they're discussing bad reviews over at Murderati. Check it out!

Originally posted Oct. 2, 2008: Ahh, Thursdays....

2008-10-15T11:53:00.004-04:00

Interestingly enough, I've had a decent day. I got caught up on a good bit of grading because my student teacher had the majority of the classes today. It's a really great feeling to get all of that work off of your back.

Unfortunately, I still can't take the time to write tonight, because I have just a little bit of grading left and then I'm going to watch some playoff baseball. Nothing like October, even when my favorite team is halfway across the country. Considering they're based completely on the other coast, I guess I should feel lucky.

Anyway, I just thought I'd talk a little bit about life as a teacher and a writer. Depending on what you teach, it can be interesting/difficult. I'd love to give all kinds of advice to unpublished writers out there, but I am one myself. As such, my advice probably isn't worth much.

But as a teacher, I can tell you that it can be really tough to maintain a marriage (even when your spouse also teaches), be a writer, and be a successful teacher all at the same time. And here in my home county it's even worse. Here's why:

These days, we're so brazenly politically correct that we can't let a student feel bad. Even if they didn't do their work because they were just plain lazy, we can't hold them accountable. We (and by we I mean teachers and administrators at the school level, NOT the county level) just have to work harder at motivating our students. And we also need to work to be better teachers, because the whole state isn't doing as well as our county, and therefore we are the problem. It's complicated, I know.

Then there's the whole writing thing. If I didn't have more homework each night than my students, it wouldn't be a problem for me to write til my heart's content. But that's not how it works. And when I get to school at 6:50am and don't leave until somewhere between 4pm and 6pm, then have to go home and be a good husband lest we both go insane and grow apart from all the grading, well writing 500-2000 words a day is daunting.

So I write when I can, and it's never as much or for as long as I'd like. J. A. Konrath has talked several times about the myth of "you must be disciplined and write every day!" and I appreciate a published author letting the rest of us unwashed masses of mystery know that it's okay if life just muscles in once in a blue moon. If not, we'd all spend our every waking moments engrossed in weird tales of serial killers and decapitation and bullets whizzing and....

hey, wait a minute....

Okay, so I guess I'll just stick with this one

2008-10-15T11:50:00.004-04:00

So yeah, from now on this will be my only blogging home.

Not here...never here....

2008-10-07T11:52:00.001-04:00

Click here to get to my active blog.